TORONTO – A groundbreaking new study from the University of Toronto has found that Canadians are unable to identify what a book is unless it has been ordained by Heather Reisman, CEO of Indigo B...
Greyhound cancellation: Saskatchewan government looking for new ways to ship homeless people to Vancouver
REGINA – The Saskatchewan government is scrambling to find a new way of solving its homeless problem instead of purchasing them a one-way ticket to Vancouver. Last week, Greyhound announced that...
Self-involved friend thinks she’d make a great therapist
TORONTO, ON – After years of offering unsolicited advice to friends, family, and absolute strangers, local self-involved woman, Miranda Emmerson, announced to friends at a wedding Saturday that ...
Tiger Woods still looks tired from all that extramarital sex he was having a few years ago
JUPITER ISLAND, FL – Having not won a PGA tournament since 2013, a wide array of golf experts agreed on Thursday that golfing legend Tiger Woods still looks “very tired” from all that extramarit...
Eight year-old pretty sure her army dad is hiding in that cardboard box in the middle of school gymnasium
ST. LOUIS – Third grader Emily Harris is reporting a high degree of confidence that her father, who has been stationed in Afghanistan for almost 18 months, is hiding in that large, conspicuous box in ...
New Ontario Safety Minister reveals he wore bulletproof vest to see Black Panther
TORONTO — Michael Tibollo, the first-time cabinet minister heading Ontario’s anti-racism directorate, informed the legislature that he recently wore a bulletproof vest to a screening of the bloc...
Magnificent King of the Internet announces construction of 5000 beautiful new websites in his honour
INTERNET CITY – Speaking from the balcony of his glowing, digital e-palace, the resplendent King of the Internet announced this morning that he would commission 5000 beautiful new websites to be...
Tragedy strikes as Marineland trainer killed by captive human being
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – Disaster struck at one of Canada’s leading wildlife parks today, as yet another trainer was killed by the park’s star human being, Dave. “It seemed like everything was going ...
Quiz: Can you pass the 1998 Sex-Ed Curriculum final exam?
As you may have heard from the people screaming about it online, Ontario’s new PC Government has announced they will be immediately repealing the 2015 Sex-Ed Curriculum, and “temporarily” replacing it...
New trending diet aims to make you a dinner party nightmare
TORONTO – As a result of the skyrocketing popularity of the “Ooo I can’t have that” diet, Canadians all over the country are making healthier decisions and ultimately becoming catering nightmares. Abb...
