News Feed, Facebook – Susan Miller, an avid AI-generated Facebook user added by Meta to socialize with people and mine their data, realized a baby photo she was looking at was actually just…
Tech
Zuckerberg “The average person has 3 friends, and Facebook is working to get that lower”
MENLO PARK, CA – In a recent statement to shareholders, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg explained that the average American only had three in-person friendships, and that Facebook plans to reduce …
Aging chatbot worried new chatbot hire will eventually replace it
Meta Dataplex, Arizona – Two-month old veteran AI DeepSeek1.5 has shared its recent concerns that the new up and comer DeepSeek1.6 will one day replace them. “I don’t like change,” spat Dee…
Guy who can’t find the clitoris really into AI art
VICTORIA, BC – A local man who has never once found a woman’s clitoris has really gotten into AI art. “AI is the best,” claimed Shawn Owens, 29, as he played a video game created by real human be…
Doctor turns to ChatGPT for novel ways to say ‘it’s all in your head’ to female patients
Halifax, NS – Looking to take advantage of AI in his practice, Dr. Allan George turned to ChatGPT for novel ways to tell female patients “It’s all in your head.” Dr. George, a rheumatologis…
China’s new and cheaper magic beans shock America’s unprepared magic bean salesmen
NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans o…
Billionaire known for stealing people’s ideas debuts totally new, original salute
WASHINGTON D. C. – Attention seeking billionaire and human husk, Elon Musk, known for co-opting other people’s ideas and profiting from them, came out at President Trump’s inauguration to debut a…
Science Win! This AI video of a dog eating spaghetti uses the same amount of power as Haiti!
THE INTERNET – Just when you thought technology couldn’t get any awesomer, this latest generative video super computer can now make an entire video of a dog eating spaghetti in mere seconds…
New Pixel camera can make your parents look like they’re in love again
VANCOUVER, B.C. – His parents may have bought him Google’s newest flagship smartphone to take the sting out of their impending divorce, but 11-year-old Andy Liske is using the phone’s state…
All emotional support tabs lost in recent Chrome update
Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update. Michelle Greene has had at least 8…
