WASHINGTON D.C. – After facing cancellations from numerous d-list musicians, organizers of the Trump-aligned Freedom 250 Celebration have reportedly also seen withdrawals from similarly obs…
U.S.
President misses own son’s wedding due to high-level not wanting to go
WASHINGTON D.C. – The President of the United States will be forced to miss the second wedding of his eldest son this weekend, due to a top secret executive branch-level not giving a shit. …
Kars4Kids scandal shockingly not an Epstein thing
LOS ANGELES, CA – Kars4Kids ads are being pulled from the CBC for reasons that are being described as “mercifully not billionaire pedophile-related”. Following a California cour…
Julie K. Brown wins Pulitzer prize for report on Epstein’s [REDACTED]
Miami, [CENSORED] – Julie K. Brown of the Miami Herald has been awarded a Pulitzer Prize for her impactful work on the Jeffrey Epstein investigation and people like [EXPUNGED] who allowed […
Trump announces final Kennedy Centre show will be to host AVN Awards
WASHINGTON D.C. – In his efforts to remake the U.S. national centre for the performing arts in his own image, President Donald Trump has revealed that the Kennedy Center’s final production before…
JD Vance wondering if he’s proved his loyalty enough to be allowed to have sex with Oval Office couch
WASHINGTON D.C. – After completing several high profile missions on behalf of President Donald J. Trump, Vice President JD Vance has begun working up the courage to ask if he can finally be given…
Trump clarifies that civilization he intends to end is America
WASHINGTON, DC – Following criticism that he has reneged on his promise to end “a whole civilization,” as detailed in one of his many irate posts about the Iran war, US President Donald Tru…
House Democrats ask if Canada could step in to fight authoritarianism for them
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the Trump administration consolidates its anti-democratic control over America, Congressional and Senate Democrats have united to ask the nation of Canada if they could…
Airport security lineups in US vastly reduced after ICE agents kidnap most travellers
SAN FRANCISCO – In a happy turn of events, airline passengers boarding flights across the United States reported almost no lineups for airport security – especially once ICE agents ha…
