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U.S.
Fired employee indicted for stealing from workplace
MIAMI – A former employee of the United States federal government who was let go due to extreme incompetence has just been indicted on charges of stealing from his erstwhile employer. Donal…
Breaking: Trump indicted for the thing you thought he was indicted for last time
MIAMI – Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for his handling of classified information since leaving office, which is apparently not the thing he was indicted for in March. R…
“Ohh, I guess mirrors are woke now too?” claims conservative POC
AUSTIN, TX – In a very expected turn of events, local conservative person of colour Amol Khan has voiced outrage over what he perceives as yet another example of liberal indoctrination: wok…
“If I’m guilty then how do you explain the hundreds of sexual assaults I got away with” asks Trump
MANHATTAN, NY – Following a jury’s verdict that he had sexually abused magazine writer E. Jean Carroll in the 1990s and then defamed her, former US president Donald Trump has insisted on hi…
Gun violence grinds to a halt after God finds prayers in spam folder
HEAVEN – On a short Zoom call with stakeholders, today, God informed those present that the most recent mass shooting in the United States was the result of a too-broad junk filter in Heave…
Nation relieved to see Trump indicted before he could do anything really bad
NEW YORK – People across the United States and entire world are reportedly breathing sighs of relief that the former President is experiencing legal consequences, before he could do any rea…
Fugitive Trump’s attempt to flee to Mexico thwarted by big wall
EL PASO – Recently indicted steak salesman Donald J Trump attempted to flee to Mexico early this evening in order to escape charges awaiting him in NYC, but found it impossible to make it t…
Crazy! Latest mass shooting ridiculously blamed on easy access to things that shoot
U.S.A. – In another ‘you have to read it to believe it’ situation, a few wacky experts are blaming the latest mass shooting on the shooter’s easy access to things that shoot. Seriously! I mean, w…
Trump claims he cannot serve time in prison due to bone spurs
MANHATTAN – Former US President Donald Trump, who claims he will soon be arrested on charges related to hush money payments to adult actress Stormy Daniels, stated that he is unable to serv…