QUEEN’S PARK – The Federal Government has announced it will not support a proposed expansion of Billy Bishop Airport, leaving Premier Doug Ford searching for the right moment to inform Ontarians that he bought himself another private jet using taxpayer money.
“I really thought this island airport expansion was a done deal,” explained Ford to an aide, sitting inside the cabin of the $30.4 million new Gulfstream G550 private jet currently parked in his driveway. “I figured Torontonians would be too distracted by all the loud noise form jets taking off and landing to notice that I’d picked up another one.”
With Ford under fire earlier this year for purchasing a $28.9-million private jet, and then returning it amid a public outcry, many question why the premier thought purchasing another jet would be a smart political maneuver.
“Honestly, I’ve been bored of being Premier ever since people stopped patting me on the back for not making COVID actively worse,” explained Ford, tossing a new pair of aviator sunglasses into a trash bin. “I figured I’d expand the airport, make one of my construction donors very wealthy, and then maybe get my pilot’s license in this new bad boy.”
At press time, Premier Ford is asking if anybody in Sudbury has an airport that he could greatly expand in the face of public opposition.
