QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Doug Ford firmly rejected the possibility of vaccine passports or forcing immunizations, citing Ontarians’ constitutional right to contract the deadly COVID-19 virus …
Bezos, Musk, Branson announce plan to launch giant pile of money into space
SPACEPORT AMERICA — Billionaire entrepreneurs Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk have announced plans to pool their resources to launch a collective $100 billion dollars in unmarked…
Donald Rumsfeld to finally get chance to confront Saddam Hussein
THE AFTERLIFE – Former U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who died today at the age of 88, will reportedly get his long-awaited chance to confront deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein…
Doug Ford says he’s working “day and night” to find way to screw up Ontario COVID success
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario premier Doug Ford has come forward to calm concerns that he is doing nothing, by insisting he and his team are working “day and night” to find a way to screw up…
Giuliani to appeal law suspension all the way up to Supreme Court Total Landscaping
NEW YORK CITY – After being suspended from practising law in New York State due to his many “misleading statements” as personal lawyer to former President Trump, Rudy Giuliani has angrily v…
Channing Tatum revealed to have been trapped at bottom of well for past 4 years
LOS ANGELES – A list actor Channing Tatum’s recent multi-year absence from Hollywood films has been explained after the megastar was found trapped at the bottom of a well. “Good God, I’ve b…
Bill C-10 requires YouTube to recommend Canadian radicalization videos
OTTAWA – Bill C-10, which seeks to modernize Canadian content standards, will reportedly include provisions forcing YouTube’s algorithm to recommend Canadian conspiracy theorists and alt ri…
Nova Scotia baffles experts by listening to them about lockdown, actually doing lockdown
HALIFAX – Experts are puzzled after scientists proposed a 2 week emergency lockdown, only to have Nova Scotian premier Rankin actually institute it, rather than ignoring them, lying to them…
Doug Ford relieved to have paid sick days after workplace COVID exposure
ETOBICOKE, ON – After coming into contact with a coworker who tested positive for COVID-19, Premier Doug Ford is reportedly “hugely relieved” to have paid sick days to isolate at home, as p…
Washington Post dares to ask: “Who the fuck is Doug Ford?”
WASHINGTON D.C. – With Ontarians roundly criticizing Premier Doug Ford’s failed COVID-19 response, many were surprised to see leading American newspaper The Washington Post publish an Op-Ed…