MENLO PARK, CA – In a recent statement to shareholders, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg explained that the average American only had three in-person friendships, and that Facebook plans to reduce …
Trump urges Americans to just remember whatever bullshit let them support Iraq War
WASHINGTON D.C. – With Trump’s order to bomb Middle Eastern nuclear sites potentially drawing the United States into a war with Iran, the President urged all Americans to recall whate…
Trump demands Nobel Peace Prize for starting war with Iran
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is demanding that he be immediately awarded a Nobel Peace Prize as a reward for single-handedly sparking a potential Third World War with the n…
America announces reboot of early 2000’s Middle Eastern war
“Despite franchise fatigue with Marvel and Star Wars, U.S. and Israeli producers are releasing a big-budget reboot of the blockbuster property.” Party at Carney’s house! Ian and…
Carney invites Mohammed bin Salman to G7, warns Air Canada will make him check bone saw
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has invited Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to this summer’s G7 summit in Kananaskis, Alberta, but warned the autocratic monarch tha…
Trump, Musk publicly feud over whose father loved them less
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump has spent the day publicly feuding with former billionaire ally Elon Musk, as the two each insisted that they were shown less affection and atten…
Shadowy interests plotting to dismantle education just going to let students use ChatGPT instead
ZÜRICH – The clandestine organization of evil billionaires who have worked for decades to undermine the world’s education systems, thus making the populace easier to control, have rec…
Trump says Canada would pay $61B for Golden Dome, or 50% off just to bribe him directly
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump has offered Canada the “fabulous opportunity” to either pay $61 billion to join his military’s proposed Golden Dome defense shi…
Amidst recount drama, Terrebonne riding to be decided by gladiator combat
“In the Quebec riding of Terrebonne, Liberal MP Tatiana Auguste was declared the winner by just one vote. How calmly do you think Quebec is taking this?” Dive into this week’s n…
Carney resists urge to teach Trump meaning of words “tariff”, “economy”, and “chair”
“I think Trump’s greatest dream is to have a podcast where he is both the host and always the guest.” Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and …
