GRAVENHURST, ON – Local Dad Emil Johnston, 39, demonstrated substantial knowledge of the alien robots known as Transformers at a Toys R Us yesterday, and the response of his two children wa…
Parenting
If I do not inculcate ideals of violence and aggression in my son, how will he appreciate cowboy movies?
By Herbert Smimmer A time in our lives has arrived when words like “toxic masculinity” are getting thrown around like we used to throw around baseballs before fathers got too busy watching RuPaul…
Baby never happier than when vomiting
CALGARY —- Researchers have confirmed that 9-month old Grace McMillan, despite enjoying other activities such as interacting with loved ones and playing with toys, reaches greatest levels of happ…
Sleep-deprived parent fondly remembers days of being sleep-deprived raver
KAMLOOPS, BC – Upon catching sight of his sleepless, bloodshot eyes in the mirror, new father Daniel Lutsky took a wistful, early-dawn moment to remember his days of being disheveled and sl…
BREAKING: Baby not done pooping
EDMONTON – Local couple, Doug and Sandra Tisdale, uncovered a horrifying development during a recent diaper change of their daughter Lana when they learned that Lana was shockingly still in the m…
Son finds dad’s stash of old hardcore police chase videos
VANCOUVER – Yesterday evening, twelve year old Dylan Kitchener got more than he bargained for while rummaging through his parent’s closet. The impressionable youth stumbled upon a car…
4th layer of sunscreen slathered onto child wearing hat, sunglasses and welder’s mask
ST ANDREWS, NB – Three-year-old Gillian O’Shea was successfully coated in a fourth layer of sunscreen today before her family’s trip to the beach, “just to be safe,” according to her fathe…
Pregnant friend apparently first woman to ever be fucking pregnant
WELLINGTON, ON – Based entirely on how much they’re all talking about it, friends of local woman, Karen Hespeler, 29, say she seems to be the first woman in the entire fucking history of th…
Study: Children raised by LGBTQ parents less likely to be complete accidents
LONDON, ON: Researchers at Western University have published a new study that claims LGBTQ parents are less likely to have children by accident. The study surveyed one hundred parents and guardia…
Dad escalates economic sanctions against son who will not get dressed
STELLARTON, NS – After finding his first round of sanctions ineffective in motivating his 5-year-old son to clothe himself, father of two, John Carlin, has vowed to increase economic penalt…