BURNABY, BC – Local woman, Nadine Tarzi, speaks out about definitely not wanting children and subsequently struggling with the possibility of never actually having any children. “The idea o…
Parenting
Nation’s dads just reminding you that Mom’s birthday coming up, not that you’d forget
OTTAWA – Dads nationwide have been checking in throughout the day with a reminder that your mom’s birthday is next week and you should definitely give her a call, but of course you kn…
Father giving up on son for Lent
VANCOUVER – Local father James Hanover made a surprise statement on the car ride home from Ash Wednesday church service, announcing that for Lent this year he would be giving up on his elde…
Woman diligently washing vibrator pretty sure she could be a good mom
MONTREAL – While carefully washing her $200 vibrator after use, local woman Maya Shah had the epiphany that it’s very likely she could be a great mother. She has since applied to adopt a ch…
‘So far so good’ reports baby carrying around Ming Dynasty vase
CANMORE, AB- Oliver Jorgensen, a 14-month old baby who just learned to walk, has let everyone know that things are going very well in his attempt to carry around a priceless Ming Dynasty vase wit…
Parents think world-ending catastrophe actually huge opportunity for you
Zoom call, ON – Last Friday during a grueling 12 minute zoom call with your parents, they both explained that the current hopeless, terrible, deadly pandemic restricting everyone to stay in…
Local father relies on tattoo to remind himself of children’s names
CALGARY, AB – Local resident, George Bronson, recently got a large chest tattoo to commemorate his beautiful children, which will also serve as a daily reminder of whatever-the-hell their n…
Friend with young kids clearly fantasizing about murdering you as you describe how boring isolation has been
Brandon, MB – Sofie, your friend with two children under the age of 5, clearly spent most of last night’s zoom call thinking of ways to murder you as you talked about how calm and uneventuf…
Weird couple names their son “John”
OTTAWA – Friends of local couple Blaze and Traylor Davidson have been left perplexed after the Davidsons decided to give their newborn son the completely bizarre name of ”John”. “I can’t believe …
Baby celebrating first birthday just happy so many shapes could make it
MAGOG, QC – One-year-old Grayson Bellesmare announced today via a series of shrieks and babbles his delight that so many different shapes of various colours were able to make it out to his …