BEAMSVILLE, ON – Niagara Regional Police were called on a man accused of advocating for the coercion of women into having children, and preventing access to safe and legal health services. …
Ontario
Protesting seniors carrying 256-page weapons at MPP’s office has Ford government vowing stronger book control laws
BEAMSVILLE, ON – After a tense standoff between Ontario Progressive Conservative MPP Sam Oosterhoff constituency staff and about a dozen seniors heavily armed with books, Premier Doug Ford …
Exhausted Ontario PC staffers pull all-nighter brainstorming more alcohol based policies
TORONTO – Dozens of unkempt and haggard PC staffers greeted the morning dawn from the offices of Queen’s Park this morning, having spent the entire night trying to think of more alcohol rel…
Mandatory anti-carbon tax stickers must be placed on the faces of all Ontario residents by today
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s new law requiring everyone in the province to stick an anti-carbon tax decal in the middle of their faces kicks in today. Officials from the Ministry o…
Ford government cancels tree planting program after learning trees also want to eliminate carbon
TORONTO – In a move harshly criticized by environmentalists nationwide, the Ford government announced yesterday that it is cancelling a program that would have seen 50 million new trees planted i…
“The provincial government will no longer be sued for negligence,” says Ford spinning handgun with safety off
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced to the media that the province will no longer be liable for misfeasance and negligence making it nearly impossible to sue the government. The a…
Doug Ford announces new Toronto subway lines, cancels them before end of conference
TORONTO — Speaking to reporters, Ontario premier Doug Ford cancelled the city’s plans for a downtown relief subway line before announcing his own “Ontario Line” subway, which he also then p…
Don’t all these nerdwads realize firing teachers is totally boss?
By: Doug Ford I just don’t get it! Thousands of students protesting at Queen’s Park and for what? Because I did them a favour and fired a bunch a’ dumb teachers who force them to go to school! Th…
Ontario introduces “Peanut Butter on Dick” sex-ed curriculum
TORONTO – In a surprising new development in Ontario’s controversial sex-ed curriculum rollback, the Progressive Conservative government announced a province-wide focus on Peanut Butter on …
Ford government increases high school class size to reduce learning
TORONTO – Education minister Lisa Thompson recently announced that class sizes for grade four and above will increase from 22 to 28 students, resulting in a 4% reduction in costs, and 8% re…