TOKYO – 23-year-old J-pop artist Ito Koharu was recently surprised to learn that her debut album ハッピー・ミルク・キス・キス (HAPPY MILK KISS KISS) has debuted at #1 on Canadian charts, despite a lukewa…
Culture
Hakeem Jeffries, Chuck Schumer say now is not the time to punish convicted rapist Russell Brand
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a joint statement, U.S. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries and current U.S. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer made clear their position that just-convicted rapist…
Marvel fan can’t believe you’re watching Avengers: Doomsday before catching up on Loki, Plantman and Thornboy, or Hawkeye’s Son
Disney Plus, CA – A local night out has soured after Marvel fan Dan Lee has found out you plan to watch Avengers: Doomsday without first consuming 16,000 hours of marvel content. “You would…
Ed Sheeran welcomes new opening act: Beatboxing Netanyahu
LONDON — At a press conference today, singer Ed Sheeran announced that, despite all of his previously scheduled opening acts quitting over his firing Macklemore, his tour will continue as schedul…
Canada’s nerds demand state funeral for Montreal-born voice of Optimus Prime
OTTAWA – Following news of the passing of Montreal-born actor Peter Cullen, best known as the voice of Optimus Prime, nerds across Canada are demanding Ottawa hold a state funeral for the l…
Report: Tim Curry’s death to be investigated by suspicious group of eccentrics gathering at his house
LOS ANGELES – Following the death of beloved 80-year-old British actor Tim Curry, observers have noted a coterie of anonymous upper crust suspects arriving at his mansion in order to invest…
Polyamorous vegan baristas and conservative uncles unite in memory of Dolly Parton
DOLLYWOOD – Following the passing of beloved country music icon and humanitarian Dolly Parton, millions of tattooed urban progressive cyclists have joined in profound mourning alongside ope…
Jared Leto struggling to think of ways he could have made creepiness more evident
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Following a new BBC report accusing actor Jared Leto of sexually assaulting four women when they were underage, the film star has responded by questioning what further actio…
Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine tops Spotify’s global charts, earns enough to pay for Spotify Premium
SAGUENAY, QC – After topping Spotify’s global charts, the Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine has reportedly earned enough from the streaming service to pay for the equivalent of “one month of …
Canada cleared to enter Eurovision if they promise not to sing in Canadian French
PRAGUE – After receiving full membership in the European Broadcasting Union following a general assembly vote, Canada has been cleared to enter the popular international Eurovision song con…
