OTTAWA – After 38 years of loyal service, a long-time SNC-Lavalin employee has announced he is punching the clock for the last time. Michael Wernick, government relations coordinator for th…
National
‘They’re heroes,’ says man who called former cabinet ministers unqualified diversity hires two months ago
OTTAWA – Early reports indicate that local partisan Bruce Thompson has had a sudden embrace of former cabinet ministers Jody Wilson-Raybould and Jane Philpott after years of calling them sh…
Parks Canada bear employees still reporting pay problems with Phoenix
BANFF, AB – Thousands of Parks Canada wildlife employees are still waiting to have their pay issues resolved three years after the seriously flawed Phoenix pay system was implemented for al…
Mafia leaders granted DPA after government claims their business could lose 9,000 jobs
MONTREAL – A major business in the drug trafficking, gambling, murder, loan sharking, extortion, and racketeering industry have been granted a deferred prosecution agreement after lobbying …
SNC-Lavalin responds to corruption charges: ‘We’re still the most law-abiding company in Montreal’
MONTREAL – Engineering company SNC Lavalin held a press conference this week, claiming that despite corruption charges, they are still “by far the most honest company in Montreal.” Company …
Journalists running dangerously low on disaster metaphors to describe SNC-Lavalin affair
OTTAWA – A drought of new disaster metaphors have struck Canada’s journalists and columnists covering the high profile SNC-Lavalin affair. Dozens of reporters from The Globe and Mail, CBC, …
Trudeau announces Canada to partner with NASA to send Jody Wilson-Raybould to moon
SAINT-HUBERT, QC – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced Thursday that Canada would be partnering with NASA to put Judy Wilson Raybould in orbit around the moon. “Judy Wilson Raybould is …
‘Now do you see why I was covering this up?!’ yells Trudeau at reporters
OTTAWA – In the wake of Jody Wilson-Raybauld’s damning testimony an outraged Justin Trudeau spoke to reporters this morning, demanding they apologize for criticizing his prior efforts to st…
Trudeau brags about having perfect gender balance among people he’s thrown under bus
OTTAWA – Showing politicians everywhere that it can be done, Justin Trudeau proudly announced that he had created complete gender parity with the people he was sacrificing to the political …
Man who has done nothing wrong spontaneously quits job for no reason
OTTAWA – Principal Secretary to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and completely innocent man Gerald Butts has resigned citing no reason in particular. The good-natured employee said that his s…