TORONTO – As the days get longer and the weather gets warmer, the patio at local restaurant Bennie’s is ramping up to Drunk Asshole season when it’ll finally be covered by boozy morons bein…
National
Emergency Alert System texts ‘U Up?’ at 4am
OTTAWA – Following the nationwide Emergency Alert testing glitch this week that left thousands of Canadians staring expectantly at their phones for a message that never came, the system sou…
Andrew Scheer to serve as stark reminder for young people that smoking pot does not make you cool
OTTAWA – Admitting on Monday that he used to smoke pot when he was in university, federal Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer is now holding himself up as a disturbing example to young …
Tax season ends, hunting CRA agents now considered poaching
OTTAWA – As another tax season draws to a close, the Government of Canada is reminding citizens that hunting agents who work for the Canada Revenue Agency will be considered poaching starti…
RCMP issues stern warning for Incel chat groups to report all Islamist extremism
OTTAWA – The Mounties are taking a new approach on combating Islamist extremism by calling upon members of the incel community to report anything they see online that calls for Islamist-rel…
Motives of man who clearly stated his motives unclear
TORONTO – In the aftermath of the deadly Toronto van attack that left 10 dead and 14 injured, journalists and commentators have failed to uncover a motive for the senseless actions of the p…
Canada rallies around its favourite city
TORONTO – In the wake of a devastating attack at Yonge & Finch that left 10 dead and many more injured, Canadians from coast to coast have come together to support the city they have al…
Health Canada suggests limiting alcohol to 2 drinks per day unless you’ve already had 3 in which case fuck it
OTTAWA—Health Canada has released new guidelines emphasizing the importance of consuming no more than 2 alcoholic units per day, but only if you haven’t had more than that, because if you have, t…
CBC fulfills mandate to produce distinctly Canadian wage gap
OTTAWA – Data released this week in response to a freedom of information request made by a University of Ottawa academic shows that female CBC presenters make 9% less than their male counte…
Provincial boundaries renamed ‘Canada-US border’ to make it easier for Canadians to transport liquor
OTTAWA – After Canada’s highest court reaffirmed the rights of provinces to impose fines and confiscate liquor that crosses provincial boundaries, the federal government will rename all pro…
