EVERYWHERE IN CANADA EXCEPT ALBERTA AND B.C. – After months of squabbles between Alberta and B.C., the other Canadian provinces are sick and tired of seeing them at each other’s throa…
National
Emergency officials construct fake disaster zone for politicians to disrupt
OTTAWA – Government officials at the federal, provincial, and municipal levels have finished the construction of a fake flooded area to distract political leaders from disrupting real disas…
7 fun facts about Canada that are neither fun nor facts
Have you ever wanted to know obscure, pointless, and flat-out inaccurate facts about this great nation, which will also leave you feeling kinda bummed out? Well, have we got a list for you! Check…
Canadian officials wish garbage sent to Philippines had been labeled “drug lords” so it could have been disposed of, no questions asked
OTTAWA – Following Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte’s statement that he would “declare war” with Canada over a series of shipping containers of garbage sent to the Philippines years…
Alberta elects its first assistant trailer park supervisor as Premier
EDMONTON – The people of Alberta have elected Randy, an assistant trailer park supervisor from Nova Scotia, as their Premier for the next four years. With a majority of the seats the UCP is…
Trudeau always assumed he would be taken down by much sexier scandal
OTTAWA — Following criticism of his decision to oust Jody Wilson-Raybould from the Liberal caucus in the fallout of the SNC-Lavalin affair, Prime Minister Trudeau has replied that he always…
Nation’s short attention span reduces Heritage Minutes to Heritage Seconds
TORONTO – Historica Canada, the makers of the iconic Heritage Minutes, have announced they will no longer be creating 60 second-long clips due to Canadians’ short attention span. Instead, s…
Trudeau opts to put out fire with kerosene
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took the bold step of putting out a fire out by pouring a bucket of kerosene on it. “I told myself: Justin, this has to end,” Trudeau said, with his j…
Report: JWR’s workout playlist just 200 hours of colleagues she’s secretly recorded
OTTAWA – A recently obtained copy of the former Justice Minister’s iTunes workout playlist consists entirely of secretly recorded conversations with her cabinet and caucus colleagues.…
Trudeau distracts from SNC-Lavalin scandal with impromptu ‘Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters’
TORONTO — While getting heckled during a Liberal Party fundraiser, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau elected to turn the event into a spontaneous “Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters” i…