TORONTO – Reports from this morning rush hour suggest that people who drive everywhere continue to wonder why Toronto traffic is so bad. “I don’t understand it,” said Lloy…
Toronto
Latest Drake track features his Mom asking Kendrick to stop bullying her son
TORONTO – The latest diss track in the hip-hop industry’s highest profile feud features Drake’s mother, Sandi Graham, personally requesting that rap superstar Kendrick Lamar sto…
Report: Juan Soto in talks with Ohtani about best way to get Canadians’ hopes up before crushing their dreams
TORONTO – As rumours and speculation fly around whether or not the Blue Jays will acquire free agent and four-time All-Star Juan Soto, Soto was recently spotted talking to Shohei Ohtani abo…
Toronto commuter unable to tell if Taylor Swift gridlock has started
TORONTO – Local tax accountant Arthur Nowak has reported being unable to tell whether the city’s long-anticipated influx of Taylor Swift fans has begun, or if this is just regular Thu…
Rogers ends free Wifi on the TTC after learning it betters life for Canadians
TORONTO – Telecom giant Rogers announced that it would be ending the free Wifi available at Toronto Transit Commission stations at the end of the year after finding it had too many unintent…
Proposed names for Toronto’s new WNBA team
TORONTO – With the official announcement of Toronto gaining Canada’s first WNBA franchise, the city is buzzing about what the new expansion team will be called. The team won’t b…
Amazing! Bald eagles seen living in Toronto with zero roommates!
TORONTO – Local naturalists received a miraculous surprise last week after a pair of bald eagles were seen building a nest in Toronto, with zero evidence of having an unrelated roommate to …
Toronto Police advise banks to leave big pile of money at the door to avoid being robbed
TORONTO – In response to a growing rash of armed robberies throughout the city, Toronto Police advised Canada’s banks to leave a big pile of money at the door of every branch to avoid being…
Eglinton LRT builders mail ransom note, severed piece of track, to Torontonians
TORONTO – With the Eglinton LRT transit extension multiple years behind schedule, and no firm completion date in sight, the various firms contracted with building the project have sent a ra…
Toronto Liberal MPs accuse Olivia Chow of trying to help Toronto
TORONTO – Several Toronto-area Liberal MPs have furiously accused the city’s newly-elected mayor of a devious and irresponsible plot to “actually advocate for Toronto”. &#…
