TORONTO – York University is defending their proposal to pay just 50% of their outstanding water bill to the city of Toronto, calling it “the best offer in the province”. York, which consumes ove…
Toronto
Toronto Zoo sending giant pandas to Calgary to make space for one colossal panda
TORONTO — Zoo staff are bidding a fond farewell as the four giant pandas they hosted for several years are being sent to the Calgary Zoo in order to make space for one colossal panda. “It’s been …
Norm Kelly releases clothing line inspired by his abhorrent voting record
TORONTO – Capitalizing on his online popularity, longtime Toronto politician Norm Kelly announced today that his official 6DAD store will be releasing a new clothing line inspired by his ab…
Toronto Police demand to know why LGBTQ community not investigating, solving more homicides
TORONTO — Following the arrest of alleged serial killer Bruce MacArthur, Police Service Chief Mark Saunders have declared Toronto’s entire LGBTQ community “on thin ice” for failing to arres…
After unveiling streaming film service Toronto public library now valued at $9.2 billion
TORONTO – Only a month after unveiling their well received streaming film service, the Toronto Public Library has been valued at just under $10,000,000,000.00 “With Netflix, Hulu, Ama…
Breaking: TTC Presto gate worked one time
TORONTO – Sources report that on Saturday morning a Presto gate at the TTC’s Ossington station worked one time, allowing a single passenger to pay their fare and enter the subway system. “I could…
John Tory steps up Toronto’s Amazon bid by becoming the first person to watch all of Mozart in the Jungle
TORONTO – Amidst reports that Ontario’s capital has been selected as one of the top 20 locations for Amazon’s new headquarters, mayor John Tory has proven there’s nothing he won’t do for his city…
Mid-level drug dealer announces bid for Ontario PC leadership
TORONTO – A successful mid-level hash dealer named Doug Ford has announced his leadership bid for the Ontario Progressive Conservatives. The entrepreneur made the announcement earlier today…
Loose cannon Toronto police horse abandons surveillance team, goes after perp
TORONTO – Saying “it’s now or never,” loose cannon Toronto Police Services horse constable Freckles has abandoned his surveillance team in pursuit of a mid-level drug dealer from the Barksd…
Toronto Maple Leafs celebrate world’s longest running uncorrected spelling mistake
TORONTO – Today the Toronto Maple Leafs commemorate a 100 year milestone: having a name containing a spelling mistake that has lasted without correction longer than any other spelling mista…
