TORONTO – The TTC have launched a nostalgic campaign in Toronto to celebrate their centennial year by featuring 100 years worth of TTC delays. “Having carried more than 31 billion customers…
Toronto
Unvaccinated Toronto Police officers on unpaid leave told that if they wanted paid leave they should have shot somebody
TORONTO – Over one hundred uniformed members of the Toronto Police Services who have not been vaccinated have been placed on unpaid leave after being informed they did not meet the brutalit…
Toronto in chaos as combination Condo/A&W/Weed Stores gain sentience, overrun city
TORONTO – The downtown area is in complete chaos as Torontonians flee for their lives after the city’s omnipresent condos, A&W franchises, and marijuana dispensaries somehow coalesced …
“I’m not going to get vaccinated just to comply with arbitrary public safety rules,” says cop who makes living writing speeding tickets
TORONTO – As the deadline looms for Toronto police to get vaccinated or be put on unpaid leave, many officers who spend their days writing speeding tickets are refusing to get “an unn…
John Tory gets haircut after receiving assurance that homeless people will not be given the clippings for warmth
TORONTO – After many months of growing his hair out, Toronto mayor John Tory has finally gotten his hair trimmed after painstaking measures to ensure that the newly shorn locks will not be …
John Tory defends ruthlessly evicting Unhoused people from parks: “Toronto belongs to the rich”
TORONTO – Under fire for sending in hundreds of armed police and private security to evict 25 unhoused people from an encampment in Trinity Bellwoods Park, mayor John Tory defended his acti…
Police on horse ready to stop train robbery
TORONTO – Toronto Police have reported that their horseback division is essential for stopping any and all train robberies. “When I’m on my noble steed, Paul Gross’ Passchendaele – Pa…
Toronto Police leave homeless encampment in peace after residents say they’re just a 24 hour anti-mask protest
TORONTO – After weeks of clearing unhoused individuals from Toronto parks in the middle of a Pandemic, Toronto Police finally left the residents outside Lamport Stadium alone after they sai…
Report: Casa Loma just some rich guy’s house
TORONTO – After decades of research, local historian Dr. Suraj Burnman has conclusively reported that Casa Loma is just some rich guy’s house. “The way people from Toronto talk about it, yo…
Anti-mask rally participants contract strange, airborne disease
TORONTO – Rally participants in an anti-lockdown protest in Toronto on Saturday reported they had become ill with some kind of strange, flu-like virus. “I thought at first I couldn’t breath…