TORONTO – Margaret Jenson was left horrified yesterday after Café Rouge, the French restaurant in which she was having lunch, impertinently informed her that they would be unable to create the di…
Food
A&W ‘Uncle Burger’ actually just burger that Dad knows from bar
NORTH VANCOUVER – Under increasing pressure from his suspicious son, Papa Burger was forced to admit that Uncle Burger is just a friend of the Burger family that he knows from the local bar…
Scientists confirm Kraft Dinner has never once successfully fed four people
TORONTO – In a startling revelation yesterday, a team of scientists at the University of Toronto released a report providing irrefutable evidence that a single box of Kraft Dinner, contrary to it…
Cool! Cheesecake Factory now has a new menu for each stage of grief!
As if Cheesecake Factory didn’t already have something delicious for everyone, from pizza to burgers to amazing desserts, they’ve just unveiled 5 delicious new menus inspired by each of Elizabeth…
Beloved aunt missing after mozza sticks lead to one-way ticket to Flavour Town
CALGARY – A manhunt is underway after the disappearance of Linda Brown, 46, who was last seen boarding a one-way flight to Flavour Town after indulging in a plate of wonderfully ooey gooey …
Salami industry issues their own food guide mainly consisting of Salami
OTTAWA – In response to Health Canada’s new food guide that emphasises a plant based diet and unprocessed food, the salami industry has produced its own rival food and nutrition guide, the …
Taco Bell introduces Cheesy Gordita Trough
Irvine, CA – Building on some of their most popular menu items and the basest instincts of their customers, Taco Bell unveiled their newest menu item, the Cheesy Gordita Trough. “We took th…
New York cheesecake retires to Florida
NEW YORK – After a celebrated run of 76 years as the king of desserts in the Big Apple, New York Cheesecake has announced today his retirement to the sunny beaches of Florida. “What can I s…
KitchenAid’s new abduction oven rapidly cooks, steals your meal
BENTON HARBOUR, MI – Appliance manufacturer KitchenAid has complemented its lineup of induction and convection products with a state-of-the-art abduction oven that briskly prepares and then kidna…
Hip server sits down while taking order
MONTREAL – Displaying an impressive level of disdain for the traditional role divisions between “customer” and “server,” brunch waiter Luc Petitclerc sat down in the one empty chair left by…