WASHINGTON DC – President Donald Trump is currently late for an important meeting with the Chinese ambassador to the United States after taking twenty minutes to put on his boots and snow p…
Elon Musk investing $800 million to fight own skeleton
Hawthorne, CA – Billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk announced on Twitter today that he is beginning a new company that aims to give him the ability to remove his own skeleton so he can fight…
Marie Kondo readers can’t wait until her TV fans get to the ‘red wedding’
LOS GATOS, CA – After selling 1.5 million copies of her book, The life-changing magic of tidying up, organizational guru Marie Kondo is now the star of a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Mar…
Report: There are a bunch of cities outside Toronto with their own streets and buildings and stuff
TORONTO – In a recent report released by the Canadian Geographical Society, there appear to be upwards of 10 cities outside of Toronto that not only have a bunch of buildings and houses wit…
Everyone super impressed by big bathtub
Oakville, ON – After taking a group of friends and relatives on a tour of his recently renovated house, Tom H. Fulton, 56, was pleased to observe several “oohs” and “aahs” at the reveal of …
Fortune and Ski Magazine mix up their lists of Top 50 moguls
NEW YORK CITY / BOULDER, CO – In an unprecedented publishing goof, both Fortune magazine and Ski Magazine have independently published a list of Top 50 moguls featuring a variety of mogul t…
World’s nations reach historic agreement that they probably should have done something about climate change a while ago
NEW YORK – In a moment of surprising and inspirational unity, all of the nations of the world agreed at a summit today that, while there was absolutely nothing they could do about it now, t…
Ukraine changes national anthem to ‘I kraine, you kraine, we all kraine for Ukraine’
KIEV – In a move that has Ukrainians hopeful for greater unity and world respect, the Ukrainian parliament has voted 412-38 to change the national anthem to a new song, entitled: I kraine, …
Sane clown beginning to think she wandered into wrong posse
LEGEND VALLEY, OH – Professional birthday party entertainer Twinkles the Clown, who has been described by her doctor as ‘very mentally sound’, got lost on her way to meeting some fellow bir…
A&W now only serving chicken raised without antibiotics, hope for the future
NORTH VANCOUVER, BC – Following the success of progressive initiatives like paper straws and the Beyond Meat burger, A&W Canada, who has already committed to using chickens raised witho…