PARIS – Leading Beckett scholars have revealed that, before they were published or put on stage, every one of Samuel Beckett’s plays would conclude with Beckett writing “GET IT?????” in big…
Scientists discover zebras got stripes to be cool as teens and now they can’t take them off
BRISTOL, UK – A recent study shows zebras are normal horses that got stripes when they were in their teen years and now they can’t remove them, even though they want to. The reasons behind …
Nova Scotia to be renamed Scotiabank Province
HALIFAX – In a bid to increase brand awareness, the Bank of Nova Scotia has agreed to pay $5,000 and an iPad to the province of Nova Scotia to change its name to Scotiabank Province. “It’s …
Cute social distancing sign instructing to ‘stay four and a half bunnies apart’ pretty confusing, claim children
CORNWALL, ON – Signs at the City Kids Summer Camp at the Mackenzie Bowell Recreation Centre are urging camp goers to stay “four and a half bunnies apart,” and while campers agree it’s a ver…
1994 film ‘The Mask’ cited as an example of the perils of masks
KITCHENER – The anti-mask group ‘Hugs Over Masks’ is using the 1994 Jim Carrey vehicle The Mask as an example of what can go wrong when people start wearing masks. “This documen…
Buffalo welcomes Jays with ballpark renovations that include robotic fan chucking beer cans onto the field
BUFFALO – In an attempt to welcome the Toronto Blue Jays into their 2020 home, Buffalo’s Sahlen Field has added a number of details to make the Blue Jays feel like they are playing at the R…
Tooth Fairy admits she would also pay for other body parts
OSLO – In an exclusive interview with Norway’s NRK1, the Tooth Fairy, a magical being who is known for slipping into children’s rooms at night and leaving money in exchange for one of their…
Scientist invents time travel to mock people in 2016 who thought things were bad then
WATERLOO, ON – Quantum physicist Agnes Chevrier announced in a press conference today that not only has she invented time travel, but she had already achieved her purpose in inventing it, w…
Medusa makes more statues of racists to replace old statues of racists
SARPEDON – In a controversial move that has confused and angered people from all over the political spectrum, the Greek mythological figure Medusa has been replacing recently removed statue…
Local father tries to remember not to call himself ‘daddy’ when his children aren’t around
REVELSTOKE, BC – Father of three Brian O’Shaughnessy is trying hard to scale back his habit of referring to himself as ‘Daddy’ instead of ‘Brian’ in conversations where he is not speaking d…