WORLDWIDE – World leaders are calling for a pause on climate change talks this week, out of respect for the Amazon rainforest which is now almost constantly on fire. “We were almost ready t…
World
Pope Francis prays for someone to take responsibility for Catholic residential schools
THE HOLY SEE – The leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis I, made a special prayer to victims of Canada’s residential schools during his monthly intentions. “We are asking the Almighty…
“Why did Meghan murder Prince Philip?” ask British tabloids
LONDON – In the wake of The Duke of Edinburgh’s untimely death at the far too young age of 99, British tabloids are wondering how and why his granddaughter-in-law Meghan Markle murdered him…
Queen’s cousin dies
WINDSOR, UK – Representatives of the British Monarchy have confirmed the sad news that the long-ailing cousin of the Queen, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, has died. Prince Philip’s familial re…
Prince Philip named Sexiest Man Kinda Alive
LONDON- Hot on the heels of Prince William’s recognition as the World’s Sexiest Bald Man, The Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip was recently named the Sexiest Man Kinda Alive. In the poll conducted…
Prince William named world’s sexiest bald man as if Mr. Clean isn’t literally right there
LONDON – According to a new study by Google, Prince William has finally been crowned king… as sexiest bald man. As if Mr. Clean wasn’t literally right there the entire fucking time. Eileen …
UK: don’t say bad things about our rich mommy
LONDON – The United Kingdom reacted with outrage to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s interview by demanding they, and everyone else, stop saying bad things about their rich mummy. …
Queen’s Commonwealth address stresses importance of family, friends, and not cooperating with the FBI in the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein investigation
WINDSOR – Queen Elizabeth II’s video message celebrating Commonwealth Day was a plea to all her subjects to focus on the people close to them in times of adversity and to never, ever give t…
Boris Johnson holds emergency press conference to remind everyone his hair still looks like that
LONDON – UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson held an urgent press conference this morning to inform those who didn’t already know that his hair still looks like an old hay mop that’s missing so…
Report: Guinness Book of World Records going to be extra bleak this year
LONDON, UK – An early preview of the 2021 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records suggests that the reference book will be much more grim than previous volumes, owing to the nature of…