EVERYWHERE – Humans across the globe report a growing consensus that having artificial intelligence ruling the land wouldn’t be such a bad idea. “I really think it’s for the best,” Mary Wilvin of…
World
UK government advises residents to pick up cricket bat, wait by door for coronavirus
LONDON – Expanding on the U.K. government’s new advice that the public deal with the ongoing health threat of COVID-19 by “staying alert,” Prime Minister Boris Johnson is also recommending …
North Korean officials claim Kim Jong-un not dead, just messy bitch who loves drama
Pyongyang, North Korea – Kim Jong-un’s disappearance from the public eye has raised eyebrows about the North Korean leader’s health, even going so far as to assume he is dead. However…
Japan, IOC postpone all 2020 Olympic events except fencing
TOKYO – Amid the rising COVID-19 pandemic, the International Olympic Committee along with the Japanese government has released a statement confirming that while the majority of the summer g…
China concerned Western authoritarian government will cover up coronavirus outbreaks
BEIJING – The Chinese government has expressed concerns that a North American government which lacks transparency and checks on its executive power will cover up the severity of the COVID-1…
China happy that all this Huawei business is distracting from their genocide
BEIJING – With many countries refusing to allow Huawei technology because of its links to Chinese intelligence agencies, as well as the company’s CFO still waiting for extradition to the US…
Boris Johnson, fellow Brexiters celebrate Scottish Independence Day
LONDON – Tens of thousands of Brexiters came out to celebrate the main cause of Scotland’s independence from the United Kingdom. English Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was given a majori…
Here’s some sensational, unconfirmed stories about coronavirus because we really need the website traffic
Competing with the Sun chain of newspapers can be hard, so here are some unconfirmed, sensationalized, and flat-out wrong stories that we’ve either heard or fabricated ourselves. We know you’ve d…
Terry Jones goes to that great giant foot in the sky
LONDON – The world is in mourning today after it was announced that Terry Jones, distinguished actor, director, writer, and member of the beloved comedy team Monty Python, has finally made the fi…
Britain resumes tradition of sending outcasts to the colonies
LONDON – British Parliament has passed a law that will resume the practice of sending its criminals, debtors, society’s rejects, and Harry to the colonies by penal shipment or banishment. T…