Competing with the Sun chain of newspapers can be hard, so here are some unconfirmed, sensationalized, and flat-out wrong stories that we’ve either heard or fabricated ourselves. We know you’ve d…
World
Terry Jones goes to that great giant foot in the sky
LONDON – The world is in mourning today after it was announced that Terry Jones, distinguished actor, director, writer, and member of the beloved comedy team Monty Python, has finally made the fi…
Britain resumes tradition of sending outcasts to the colonies
LONDON – British Parliament has passed a law that will resume the practice of sending its criminals, debtors, society’s rejects, and Harry to the colonies by penal shipment or banishment. T…
Embarrassing Australian government continues to rage across the country
CANBERRA – Australia remains gripped by a raging and shameless government that appears to be engulfing the nation. Emergency crews and locals have attempted to control Liberal Prime Ministe…
Quaint English village fails to meet its mysterious murder quota for the year
ABBERSHIRE, UK – Residents of the quiet, picturesque village of Abbershire have found themselves approaching the New Year in shame and disappointment after it was announced that they had failed t…
Venetian flood eases traffic
VENICE, ITALY — A record-breaking number of floods in Venice, Italy has significantly eased traffic congestion by opening a number of options for commuters to get to work. “It’s so convenie…
North Korea threatens to blah blah, Christ, every week with these guys
PYONGYANG, NK – This week, the government of North Korea warned that if U.S. didn’t stop ticking them off, they’d blah blah, when are these guys gonna take a week off? This is directly on the hee…
Trudeau insists he was talking about another brash, incompetent US President also named Donald Trump
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has clarified that he, and other world leaders were talking about a different US President also named Donald Trump when they were caught on…
Danes, Dutch form nation after growing too tired to explain they’re different countries
COPENDAM – The leaders of Denmark and the Netherlands have announced their countries are now unified explaining that the burden to explain the difference to North Americans is not worth the…
New ISIS Leader torn between striped tie and paisley tie for first day
Syria – Earlier this morning newly appointed ISIS leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurayshi was at a loss for which tie to wear on his first day, reportedly standing in front of the mirror …