NEW YORK – In a moment of surprising and inspirational unity, all of the nations of the world agreed at a summit today that, while there was absolutely nothing they could do about it now, t…
World
Ukraine changes national anthem to ‘I kraine, you kraine, we all kraine for Ukraine’
KIEV – In a move that has Ukrainians hopeful for greater unity and world respect, the Ukrainian parliament has voted 412-38 to change the national anthem to a new song, entitled: I kraine, …
South Korea mandates conscription of youth into K-Pop groups
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – As an escalation of the global culture war, South Korea has mandated the conscription of all its youth to serve time in a K-Pop group. At the age of seventeen all South…
UN condemns Canada’s cruel and unusual treatment of mobile phone customers
NEW YORK – The UN General Assembly has condemned Canada’s ill treatment of millions of its cell phone customers by the country’s corporate telecommunication juntas. The resolution that call…
Nation shares a laugh after remembering what Boris Johnson looks like
CANADA — Following reports that former UK Foreign Minister Boris Johnson has been building an alliance with Trump advisor Steve Bannon, his recent departure from Parliament, and numerous ot…
Climate wondering how much it has to change before humans notice
EARTH — After breaking records with sweltering mid-summer temperatures, the Climate for the planet Earth is reportedly at a loss as to how much it needs to change before eliciting any respo…
Oh no! The Trump baby balloon learned to speak and now it’s calling Theresa May the C-word!
The good news: The Trump baby balloon, a hilarious helium blimp making a mocking caricature of Donald Trump has delighted anti-Trump protesters in London and become an all-out international sensa…
REPORT: Earth in Retrograde
TORONTO – When Mercury is in retrograde, it appears as though the planet closest to the sun is orbiting the Earth backwards. This phenomenon has become a catchall explanation for why people…
Trump announces do-over after media calls no takesy-backsies
WASHINGTON D.C. – The White House has announced that Vladimir Putin will be visiting Donald Trump in the United States this fall. Only days after the duo’s Helsinki summit ended with Trump …
Canada deploys 250 passive-aggressive peacekeepers to Mali
GAO – The twin rotors from the Chinook helicopters brought up red dust in their wake as the helicopters carrying the lead contingent of Canada’s UN passive-aggressive peacekeeping force lan…
