NEW YORK – US President Donald Trump gave his much anticipated first speech to the United Nations General Assembly Tuesday, and while the speech was historic in content, it will primarily b…
World
God sick of shutting all these doors and opening all these fucking windows
Heaven – The omnipresent being that created all of existence is reportedly growing tired of shutting multiple doors for humans and then being expected to also open a corresponding window. “…
Tourist arrested for not practicing ancient Incan selfie ritual at Machu Picchu
CUSCO, PERU – A 24-year old Canadian tourist was arrested on Tuesday for failing to practice the ancient Incan tradition of performing a selfie at the Machu Picchu ruins, the most photograp…
Best Eclipse Ever! The sun hasn’t been seen for 27 hours
WORLDWIDE – Y’all, the party of the decade, century, and millennium is still going strong as the total solar eclipse enters its 28th hour. Temperatures have fallen by about 10 degrees, but …
Guide To: Australia
Thinking of visiting Canada’s 11th province?…
Australian senator who denied knowing about Canadian citizenship makes suspicious, Canadian-like apology
CANBERRA – An Australian senator who announced her resignation after discovering her dual-citizenship has made a very suspicious, Canadian-sounding apology. Green MP Larissa Waters claimed …
Torrie Lauren: North Korea
Torrie Lauren has strong, confusing opinions on North Korea.…
Samoa ejected after trying to sneak into G20 using fake ID
HAMBURG – In addition to rowdy protests and police action, the G20 was also forced to remove the oft-forgotten island nation of Samoa after it attempted to sneak into the conference with a …
Trudeau already regretting allowing hotel-less Trump to crash in his room
HAMBURG, GERMANY – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is reportedly “kicking himself” for offering to share his G20 hotel room with Donald Trump, after the American President’s staff fo…
Shadowy cabal agrees to buy bigger conference table
ZURICH – The clandestine organization of billionaire power brokers responsible for controlling the world’s destiny has reportedly decided to purchase a larger conference table. “The vote is…