TORONTO – After years spent taking on lesser enemies like the media and the concept of telling the truth, Canada’s satirical news empire The Beaverton has finally convinced CTV to give it one hou…
Jason Kenney claims he has ‘evolved’ from an anti-LGBTQ politician to one who doesn’t admit it while being recorded
CALGARY – After a recording released this week revealed that, in 2000, UCP leader Jason Kenney took strong positions against gay marriage and gay adoption, Kenny is defending himself by poi…
Breaking: Celebrity voted
LOS ANGELES – According to widely shared posts on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, a popular celebrity has voted in the U.S. midterm elections. “I can’t be entirely sure, since I’ve never r…
Please keep paying attention to me
By: Stephen Harper, former Prime Minister of Canada You likely heard some news stories about me recently. You might have heard that I think Bernie Sanders is actually scarier than Donald Trump. O…
Canadians thankful they can’t name single Canadian Supreme Court Justice
OTTAWA – As Canadian families from coast-to-coast gathered together for thanksgiving, the vast majority took time to be grateful for the fact they never have, nor likely would, ever know th…
Don Cherry woken from cryosleep as NHL season kicks off
TORONTO – As puck drop on the 2018-2019 NHL season approaches, and the first Hockey Night in Canada only days away, CBC employees completed their annual duty of waking Don Cherry from the c…
Experts warn new NAFTA deal could put thousands of op-ed writers out of work
OTTAWA – As the Trudeau government celebrated saving the country’s free trade deal with America and Mexico, experts were already warning that the renewed agreement could devastate the burge…
Who didn’t set their gym on fire and murder dozens of classmates when they were a teenager?
By Carrie White As I watched the claims against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanuagh unfold last week, I admit I was disturbed. Not by the alleged details themselves, but by everyone’s rush to j…
Smugly telling grocery store cashier that he brought his own bags clearly making local man’s day
Sarnia, ON – Reports from inside a Sobey’s indicate that local man Gregory Sinclair is absolutely relishing the moment where he told the young lady ringing in his groceries that he didn’t n…
New Brunswick election update: New Brunswick appears to be having an election
FREDERICTION – Although unconfirmed, reports from inside the long forgotten land of New Brunswick suggests the locals are in the process of choosing a new Premier. “Obviously we don&#…
