SAN JOSE – Sharks backup goaltender and .895 save percentage holder James Reimer said that he wouldn’t wear a Pride jersey for 10 minutes during warm ups on account of the Bible’…
“Refs totally favour the Leafs,” says man who has presumably closed eyes, plugged ears anytime Toronto plays
CALGARY – Local hockey fan Dave Williamson believes the league’s officiating is regularly biased in favour of the Toronto Maple Leafs, apparently because he has hit himself in the hea…
5 Sarah Polley films to watch if you want to honour a great Canadian artist and have your day absolutely fucking ruined
Having taken home the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for Women Talking, Sarah Polley has officially graduated from precocious Canadian tv star to full Hollywood royalty. And if you want to check o…
Liberals assure Canadians they would never lie about something as important as our elections
OTTAWA – As allegations continue to mount about how much Justin Trudeau and the Liberals knew about China interfering in our elections, the party that promised to institute electoral reform…
Conservatives explain why we need private healthcare
As more Conservative lead provinces move towards a two tier healthcare system despite Universal Healthcare being extremely popular with Canadians, we asked some politicians why the move was neces…
Historians trace society’s collapse to time Swiss Chalet dropped Toblerone from Festive Special
TORONTO – Researchers at the University of Toronto have concluded that life in Canada and around the world began going downhill when Swiss Chalet replaced the Toblerone bar with Lindt choco…
5 perfectly innocent explanations for why 3 Conservative MPs met with a Nazi
Yesterday Leslyn Lewis, Dean Allison and Colin Carrie had a lengthy meeting with far-right European Parliament member Christine Anderson, shortly before she went on to pose for photos with Neo-Na…
Doug Ford’s niece announces theme of her Sweet 16 will be Urban Development Opportunities
TORONTO – Marcella Ford, niece of Ontario Premier Doug Ford, has announced that her upcoming Sweet 16 Birthday Party will have the theme of Urban Development Opportunities. “A lot of …
Pierre Poilievre wishes traitorous dictator who hates the country he is PM of would stop being so divisive
OTTAWA – Leader of the opposition Pierre Poilievre is calling on “left-wing scrum” Justin Trudeau to stop dividing Canadians on political lines. “Canadians don’t nee…
Netflix to produce another Adam Sandler movie for every person caught account sharing
LOS ANGELES – As part of its crackdown on password sharing streaming giant Netflix has announced that for every person it catches using someone else’s account it will produce one more Adam …