WASHINGTON D.C. – Trump Administration trade advisor Peter Navarro is accusing Canada of interfering in the upcoming U.S. midterm elections, unfairly distracting from American efforts to interfere in Alberta and Quebec separatist efforts.
“It’s utterly unfair that Canadians would attempt to impact our upcoming elections through legal means like lobbying our leaders and counter-tariffing red state goods,” Navarro shouted while showing off the prison tattoo he acquired while serving time for stonewalling a January 6th investigation.
“These Canadian efforts take much-needed focus away from our State Department, who are hard at work supporting Alberta and Quebec separatists to set up puppet regimes that will sell resources to America for pennies on the dollar,” Navarro added.
At press time, American CIA operatives are bemoaning the fact that Alberta Separatist leaders are nowhere near as disciplined and organized as the Khmer Rouge.
