VANCOUVER, BC – Part-time twitch streamer Corey McIntosh was in the middle of outlining the unfair privileges he enjoys over others on Facebook when suddenly he began to feel pretty good ab…
Vancouver
iPhone battery collapsing from 100% to 1% signals arrival of winter
VANCOUVER – iPhones across the Vancouver area have signaled the beginning of winter by collapsing in battery power when subjected to a temperature below 9 degrees Celsius. “I can’t wait to …
Canucks fan doesn’t want to talk about it
VANCOUVER – Early reports indicate a Vancouver Canucks fan doesn’t want to talk about it. Thomas Sinclair of Port Moody has not made a single comment to his friends or family about his team…
Huawei paid us $150 to write this article calling for the acquittal of Meng Wangzhou
VANCOUVER – Tens of thousands of Canadians came out to a Vancouver courthouse to show their support of Meng Wangzhou after we were paid $150 by Huawei to write this article. “Free Meng now!…
City that hosted 2010 Winter Olympics fails to prepare for snow again
VANCOUVER – A Canadian city that hosted the 2010 Winter Olympics has yet again failed to anticipate snow. The municipality that touted the city and area as a wintery paradise for the world …
Impeachment hearings relocated to Vancouver to reduce production costs
VANCOUVER – The hit new show Impeachment Inquiry has relocated its set from Washington DC to Vancouver saving US networks millions in production costs. The CSPAN drama featuring rising star…
Oh great, the Gastown Steam Clock is vaping now
UGH. Just when you wanted some relief from that tacky tourist clock Vancouverites love to hate, the timepiece has taken up vaping so it can be even more unbearable. It seems like this young, impr…
Local woman can’t find anything she owns despite living in 200 sq. ft. micro apartment
VANCOUVER – Susan Jones is tired of being unable to locate a single object she needs despite living in an apartment small enough for her to traverse in a single hop. “I know what I’m lookin…
Rest of country to Vancouver: We get it, you have good sushi
VANCOUVER – An official statement from the rest of Canada addressed to the city of Vancouver was released yesterday, acknowledging that while the quality and taste of the municipality’s Jap…
Parents trying to decipher alternative school’s crystal-based report cards
VANCOUVER – Sherri and Tucker Jackson love the support and individualized learning their daughter Braylyn receives at her alternative elementary school, but they were slightly confused when…