Chiropractor not going to let the lack of medical training, education get in the way of medical advice
WINNIPEG – Overcoming all odds stacked against her, local chiropractor Kristy St. Laurent has been giving her patients advice about vaccines, toxicology, autism, water fluoridation, and oth…
Grateful nation waits with shotgun over George A. Romero’s grave
TORONTO – A mourning country paid its respects to celebrated Canadian film maker George A. Romero yesterday evening by standing outside his grave with shotguns, shovels, and long knives. “M…
Insufferable beer snob to become insufferable weed snob
TORONTO – With the approaching legalization of cannabis, local beer snob Timothy Davis is excited to develop a condescending attitude about marijuana. “Much like Belgian beers, I think that…
To appease male fans, Doctor Who announces every Dalek will have visible penis
LONDON – After severe backlash from male fans following the casting of Jodie Whittaker as the first-ever female Doctor, the producers of Doctor Who have announced that every single Dalek in…
New HBO warning system tells viewers when they shouldn’t watch an episode with their mom
NEW YORK CITY – HBO will use the season seven premiere of Game of Throne to introduce a new rating system that will warn viewers if the episode they are about to watch should or definitely …
Extreme fitness gym uses Nazi slogan as motivational quote
CORNWALL, ON – The extreme fitness gym Shred Heads is facing struggles of its own after several of the motivational quotes stencilled on its walls turned out to be Nazi slogans. “I think it…
Justin Trudeau suffers third degree burns from failed attempt to jump over campfire
OTTAWA, ON – Canadians coast to coast had their collective gnar severely harshed today, upon learning that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau suffered third degree burns after a failed attempt t…
Evidence piling up gender neutral bathroom actually broom closet
TORONTO — Patrons of Toronto’s Tito’s Tacqueria say it’s becoming increasingly clear that the establishment’s gender neutral bathroom is actually a repurposed broom closet. “There is, like,…
Content creator really loves creating content
TORONTO – Social media ingénue, Grace Codrington, says she creates content not for fame or money, but simply because she loves doing so. “I live and breathe content creation,” Codrington sa…
Shark pressed up against aquarium glass fascinated by wonders of human life
TORONTO—Reports show that Freddie, a 2-year old tiger shark at Ripley’s Aquarium, has pressed himself up against the glass to get a closer look at the incredible spectacle of human life playing o…
