OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre has dropped out of the Conservative leadership racer after failing the Turing test all of the party’s leadership candidates must pass to become party leader. “The …
Politics
PM causes economy to crash by purchasing doughnuts from local business instead of Brazilian investment firm
WINNIPEG – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has obliterated the Canadian economy by purchasing doughnuts at a local business instead of the country’s largest chain of quick service restaurants…
Conservatives shorten leadership race by having dairy lobby just tell them next leader
TORONTO – In an effort to avoid another costly leadership race the Conservative party has decided to forego the traditional secret ranked ballot process and just have the dairy lobby tell t…
Kenney: Middle East just 4 more bloody wars away from making Alberta’s oil profitable again
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney says that Alberta’s oil and gas industry will be back on its feet after four bloody and prolonged conflicts in the Middle East. With the price of cru…
Conservatives sure party members who supported Scheer and Bernier last time will now choose a centrist leader with mass appeal
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party leadership contest officially gets underway party insiders expressed confidence that the same members who last time supported libertarian, racist uncle Ma…
Tories hopeful they will find ordinary, down-to-earth leader with a spare $300,000 to spend on entry fee
OTTAWA – A poll of Conservative Party members has indicated that a strong majority want a commoner relatable to all Canadians who can easily dish out $300,000 deposit for a leadership entry…
Jason Kenney’s war room unveils new, one-of-a-kind logo
EDMONTON – After being caught plagiarizing a US tech company’s logo for his government’s Canadian Energy Centre, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has unveiled a new, unique logo. “It’s called t…
CPC furious after Scheer pays for private schooling with party funds instead of oil kickbacks
OTTAWA — As Andrew Scheer resigns the Conservative leadership, party leaders are furious he used campaign funds to pay for his children’s private schooling, as opposed to the usual so…