TALLAHASSEE, FL. ― In an interview this week, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis took aim at the tyrannical sellers of hygiene and personal care products who routinely attempt to convert people to lib…
Politics
Canadians agree the only foreigners who should influence our elections are the ones who own our newspapers
OTTAWA – Following reports that China may have attempted to interfere in a recent federal election, Canadians of all political stripes are up in arms at the idea that foreign powers would t…
Trudeau hires consulting firm to examine government over-reliance on consulting firms
OTTAWA – Amidst charges that the Federal Liberal Party has awarded excessive contracts to consulting firms, namely McKinsey & Company, Prime Minister Trudeau has vowed to study the sit…
John Tory admits to fucking Toronto
TORONTO – In breaking news, Mayor John Tory has announced his resignation after admitting to fucking Toronto. “It was a serious error of judgment on my part,” the longtime polit…
Kamala Harris criticized for spending too much time on side quests
Anywhere but Washington, D.C. – American Vice President Kamala Harris has received criticism for spending too much time on side quests rather than dealing with finishing the main story. “It…
“Politics don’t affect me”, says guy complaining about inflation, the price of gas, the housing market, cost of living, ER wait times, and crippling student debt
AJAX, ON – Local gas station cashier Geoff Wayne is proud to report that politics don’t affect him despite political policy being the source of every single one of his problems. “Listen, I …
7 more fake Voltaire quotes to use when making a political argument
“I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to my death your right to say it” is as overused as it is not something Voltaire ever said. So we thought we’d help out by g…
Poilievre excited to show off his new Trump NFT trading cards during House of Commons recess
OTTAWA – As Canada’s federal legislators prepare to return home for their six-week winter break, the leader of the Conservative Party was seen running out of the House of Commons chamber to…
Which of these boiled hams will the Ontario Liberals choose for their next leader?
TORONTO – After a disastrous showing in the last provincial election, political analysts are eager to see which out of a growing shortlist of boiled hams the Ontario Liberal Party will choo…
Justin Trudeau living embodiment of what happens when theatre kids aren’t bullied enough
OTTAWA – In a dire warning issued yesterday, Canada’s theatre students and their high school bullies joined together in pointing to Justin Trudeau as the single worst embodiment of what can…