OTTAWA – Acting on behalf of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, Governor General Julie Payette has granted several pieces of legislation Royal Assent by inscribing her signature with the tear…
Politics
Breaking: National Post pretends to care about environment
TORONTO – Postmedia’s flagship publication is making a stalwart effort at pretending to care about environmental issues such as scrutinizing Justin Trudeau’s promise to plant 2 billion tree…
Tories counter basic income with basic billions for CEOs
OTTAWA – Responding to speculation that the Liberal government will propose universal basic income in the upcoming Speech from the Throne, the Conservative Party is countering with its curr…
Liberals commit $100 million to resupply toner for redacted documents
OTTAWA – Pledging to restart the office appliance economy, the federal government is investing in over $100 million in toner cartridges for its many redacted information requests. The gover…
Conservative Party announces this the best they could do
OTTAWA – In an announcement over Zoom from its headquarters, the Conservative Party of Canada revealed after a months-long campaign, that this, this, is the best the party has to offer. “Lo…
Paper shredder working hard to process as many ballots at Conservative Party Leadership vote
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada’s leadership election has started without a hitch dozens of paper shredders destroying as many ballots before they can be counted. “We …
Gender-balanced cabinet forces woman to work two jobs
OTTAWA – A gender-balanced cabinet is now requiring a woman to work two jobs after a male employee left his post for higher pursuits. Chrystia Freeland, the Deputy Prime Minister, has been …