OTTAWA – As Bill C-86, the Liberal’s latest omnibus budget bill, winds its way through the Canadian legislative process, the few people who’ve managed to read the entire 850 page document a…
Politics
Republicans confirm stance that life begins at conception and ends when your health insurance expires
WASHINGTON – The Republican party sent out a press release earlier today confirming their long-held stance that the boundaries of human life begin at conception and end at the exact moment …
Breaking: Celebrity voted
LOS ANGELES – According to widely shared posts on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, a popular celebrity has voted in the U.S. midterm elections. “I can’t be entirely sure, since I’ve never r…
“We are the silent majority,” claim both sides
WASHINGTON – Activists and advocates for both sides of the political spectrum remain convinced today that their view is the popular one and claim to have the ‘silent majority.’ “More people…
Bernier signs People’s Party’s no embarrassment pledge, promptly kicked out
GATINEAU, QC – People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier was removed from the political caucus he founded after signing the mandatory ‘no-embarrassment’ pledge for riding association members. &#…
Report: Bullshit spewing out of Maxime Bernier’s mouth to be carbon taxed
OTTAWA – The federal government has confirmed the complete and utter bullshit coming out of Maxime Bernier’s mouth will be taxed starting at $10 per tonne. This comes two days after a large…
First-time eligible voter excited to make up first excuse for not voting
TORONTO – After turning eighteen over a week ago, Neal Furlong is anxiously looking forward to the upcoming election so he can lie about why he didn’t vote for the very first time in his li…
Abortion compromise: Republican feminists fight for right to arm vaginas
WASHINGTON, D.C – Maintaining their pro-life, pro-gun stance, a Republican feminist initiative, is fighting to protect women’s rights by allowing them to arm their vaginas. The “Women’s Rig…
Republicans praise thoroughness of blank piece of paper with “Kavanaugh FBI Investigation” written on it
WASHINGTON D.C. — Senators Flake, Collins, and the rest of the GOP are praising the FBI’s report on their investigation into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, which consists entirely o…
New Brunswick happy to make national news not related to tragedy
MONCTON, NB – Citizens across the province of New Brunswick were celebrating the accomplishment of making national news from coast to coast that wasn’t related in any way to a tragic event.…
