Child’s homework got too difficult for dad to help with a lot earlier than expected
MONCTON – Dave McKindritch attempted to help his 9 year old son Weston complete his homework this evening, only to discover that things are already a lot more advanced than he was anticipat…
Average number of languages spoken by North Americans falls to 0.7
VANCOUVER, BC ― A new analysis from the University of British Columbia has found that the number of languages in which an average North American adult is proficient enough to converse has fallen …
How to protect yourself from the pollutants in wildfire smoke
Smoke from fires in Ontario, Quebec and Alberta has made their way into cities, where residents are reporting a campfire smell and hazy quality to the atmosphere. Unfortunately this haze carries …
5 iconic Toronto landmarks where it would be fun to find a body on the new Law & Order spinoff
Get your murder puns ready because iconic copaganda show Law & Order is heading north of the border! And while we could focus on CityTv’s choice to make yet another American spinoff ins…
“Ohh, I guess mirrors are woke now too?” claims conservative POC
AUSTIN, TX – In a very expected turn of events, local conservative person of colour Amol Khan has voiced outrage over what he perceives as yet another example of liberal indoctrination: wok…
Toronto actresses psyched to play dead bodies on new Law & Order: Toronto series
TORONTO – Actresses across Toronto rejoiced yesterday at the announcement that a spinoff of Dick Wolf’s famous “Law & Order” series would be set in their city, signalling a chance for t…
Torontonians endure another weekend in crime-ridden, drug-infested hellhole of a city
TORONTO – Thanks to Conservatives like Pierre Poilievre we know that Toronto is basically an open sewer where people shoot heroin on the street before attacking tourists with fireworks. Wel…
Toronto Goodwill asking people to stop donating Leafs jerseys
TORONTO – The regional board of Goodwill Industries has taken to social media to ask residents of the GTA to please stop leaving Maple Leafs jerseys in their used clothing bins and donation…
Ben & Jerry’s unveils new flavour, Bachelor Freezer Burn
VERMONT – Popular American ice cream manufacturer Ben & Jerry’s announced its latest flavour, today, coming to the public in the form of “Bachelor Freezer Burn”. According to founders,…
Desperate Nova Scotians sacrifice Theodore Tugboat to raging wildfire
HALIFAX – As multiple wildfires continue to burn across the province, Nova Scotians have decided as a last-ditch effort to sacrifice beloved life-sized children’s character Theodore Tugboat…
