Mark Carney promises to take climate change seriously once every other problem on Earth is solved
OTTAWA – After receiving criticism this week for abandoning the Trudeau-era climate plan, Prime Minister Mark Carney has assured Canadians worried about the already deadly effects of global…
Officials announce new AI Data Centres to calculate why heat dome happening
OTTAWA – With much of Canada and the United States gripped by an unseasonal heat wave, federal officials have announced construction of new natural-gas-intensive data centres, aimed at usin…
Editorial: The Human Rights Museum’s Nakba exhibit ignores the important context that I don’t want to hear about it
By: Martin Olsen The Canadian Museum Of Human Rights’ exhibit on the so-called ‘Nakba’ opened this week to widespread condemnation. And now that I have also not seen it, I would…
Premier Eby shifts B.C. stance from ‘pipeline bad’ to ‘pipeline bad but money’
VANCOUVER – During an announcement with Prime Minister Carney, British Columbia Premier David Eby clarified that his province’s previous anti-pipeline stance has been amended to still…
$50 mil for 24 Sussex repairs to be fundraised by Carney starting OnlyFans
“How is this money gonna get raised, they’ll pass the hat? GoFundMe? OnlyFans?” On this special Pride Month episode, Ian MacIntyre (designated ally, he/him) is joined by a speci…
Kawhi asks Toronto restaurant if that Ka’wine & Dine offer still stands
TORONTO – A few minutes after the announcement that he was being traded back to the Toronto Raptors Kawhi Leonard walked into a Queen street restaurant and asked for a meal on the house. &#…
“More, more, keep cutting, cut more!” screams now-bald Carney at terrified barber
OTTAWA, ON ― Suddenly dropping his calm, boring, bankerish public façade, Prime Minister Mark Carney responded to a simple inquiry as to how his haircut was looking so far with a screaming, red-f…
Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine tops Spotify’s global charts, earns enough to pay for Spotify Premium
SAGUENAY, QC – After topping Spotify’s global charts, the Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine has reportedly earned enough from the streaming service to pay for the equivalent of “one month of …
Carney announces competition to win blame for 24 Sussex restoration
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a national design-and-build competition for the restoration of 24 Sussex Drive, the winner of which will receive full blame for their effor…
“Democratic socialists are taking over!!” declared about US politicians who would at best be Canadian Red Tories
NEW YORK STATE – In the wake of several progressive Democratic primary victories, American pundits have expressed extreme concern over the victors’ “far left politics” des…
