Canadian tourist in London unsure if street hawker is selling authentic Royal Babies

LONDON – Despite the British vendor’s persuasive arguments, Canadian tourist Eric Forte remains unconvinced that the street merchant is actually selling the biological children of Kate Midd…

Idiot loser arrives at event on time

MONTRÉAL – Wishing to attend a concert at local music venue Le Mixtape, systems analyst Brent O’Connell recently arrived at the advertised start time of 8:00 pm like the complete moron that he is…

These 5 people now live in P.E.I. because they couldn’t pay the $47 Confederation Bridge toll

These five people couldn’t afford the $47.00 toll to take the bridge off of Prince Edward Island. So now they live there. It could happen to you! 1. https://depositphotos.com/search/tourist…

Health Canada suggests limiting alcohol to 2 drinks per day unless you’ve already had 3 in which case fuck it

OTTAWA—Health Canada has released new guidelines emphasizing the importance of consuming no more than 2 alcoholic units per day, but only if you haven’t had more than that, because if you have, t…

Dropped stainless steel water bottle ruptures eardrums within 40 km radius

MONTREAL — Disaster struck Monday when the sound of a stainless steel water bottle dropped on to a concrete floor ruptured the eardrums of everyone within the downtown core. The deafening e…

CBC fulfills mandate to produce distinctly Canadian wage gap

OTTAWA – Data released this week in response to a freedom of information request made by a University of Ottawa academic shows that female CBC presenters make 9% less than their male counte…

If you click on this Spice Girls quiz, we promise we’ll tell you which options will get you Posh Spice

From Wannabe to Spice up Your Life, the Spice Girls were Girl Power personified. But which one matches your personality? Is it Ginger Spice, Sporty Spice, Scary Spice, Baby Spice, or the one that…

More Jets fans taking out second mortgages to pay off single can of beer purchased at Bell MTS Place

WINNIPEG – According to survey of Winnipeg’s banks, more Winnipeg Jets fans are applying for second mortgages on their homes to pay for a single can of beer purchased at the Bell MTS Place …

Doug Ford to save Ontario 6 billion dollars by taking his own family off OHIP

TORONTO – After promising to cut the province’s spending by six billion dollars, Doug Ford has finally revealed a surefire way to come up with the money: remove health-insurance coverage fr…

New employee has audacity to begin email with “hey man”

VULCAN, AB – Opening his work email in the morning, Henry Abraham, CEO of HAB Insurance, a local brokerage firm, was disturbed to read the words “hey man” Thursday in the opening line sent …