“Buying Things and Owning Them” now no.1 search result on Pornhub in Canada
MONTREAL – Pornhub owner Aylo has disclosed the top search term on the website for the first half of 2026: “Buying things and actually getting to own them,” with the popularity of the searc…
Canadians relieved they won’t be forced to fly Air Canada
CALGARY – With news of the WestJet strike ending, Canadians are reportedly relieved that they won’t be forced to fly with the nation’s most terrifying airline: Air Canada. The sense of dread caus…
Canadians overwhelmingly demand wealth tax after Kevin O’Leary says it will make him move away
OTTAWA – Pollsters report a split among Canadians over the idea of higher tax on the assets of wealthy individuals, though support skyrockets after noting that Kevin O’Leary has vowed…
Breaking: Man who keeps shitting himself in public tough to pin down on international trade deal
“I wonder why diaper grandpa keeps changing his mind on CUSMA?” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Janel Comeau) talk about the latest in the Trade War, the debate about whether Co…
Jared Leto struggling to think of ways he could have made creepiness more evident
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Following a new BBC report accusing actor Jared Leto of sexually assaulting four women when they were underage, the film star has responded by questioning what further actio…
Shopify announces customers can use promo code PLUTOCRACY for 10% off all orders
TORONTO – In the wake of CEO Tobi Lutke endorsing an electoral system in which votes are allocated based on how much income tax you pay, e-commerce platform Shopify has announced that custo…
Edmonton plans separation referendum to separate from Alberta separation referendum
EDMONTON – With the October 19th Alberta Separation referendum approaching, residents of the provincial capital have announced that they will be holding their own referendum to separate the…
Boomers blame social media for setting unrealistic lawn standards
ST. CATHARINES — Canada’s Baby Boomers increasingly say social media is to blame for setting unrealistically high standards for their lawns. “Sometimes I’m on Facebook, enjoying posts about how T…
Tech CEOs warn Chinese AI could destroy the world faster than American AI can
SILICON VALLEY – American Tech CEOs issued a chilling warning that Chinese AI models have the potential to destroy the world more quickly and more cheaply than their American counterparts. …
Republicans insist Mitch McConnell resting comfortably following routine taxidermy procedure
WASHINGTON D.C. – GOP lawmakers are chastizing their Democratic colleagues, as well as members of the media, for inquiring about the 6 week disappearance of Sen. Mitch McConnell, insisting …
