Cute photo-op destroys Artemis II mission as Canadian uncorks maple syrup
“I can’t think of a single more dangerous food to have in zero gravity.” Guest host Ian MacIntyre is joined by panellist Nile Séguin along with special guests Kyah Green (The Fa…
Trump clarifies that civilization he intends to end is America
WASHINGTON, DC – Following criticism that he has reneged on his promise to end “a whole civilization,” as detailed in one of his many irate posts about the Iran war, US President Donald Tru…
Five reasons MPs keep leaving my party that have absolutely nothing to do with me
By: Pierre Poilievre Good afternoon my fellow Canadians, except the ones I don’t like: This morning, Conservative MP Marilyn Gladu crossed the floor to Mark Carney’s traitorous, thievery-loving L…
Dow Jones closes down 11 points as Apocalypse destroys all life on Earth
NEW YORK- The complete eradication of sentient life on our planet spurned the end of history, the death of time, and a permanent all-consuming blackness, as markets reacted negatively, shedding e…
Carney: “I love being PM, except for the brief time I have to spend in Canada”
OTTAWA – Reflecting on being PM for over a year, Mark Carney told reporters that he loves every aspect of the job, except for “the short amount of time I have to spend in Canada every…
Local woman totally not jealous of woman who got to leave Earth
LONGUEUIL, QC – A local woman is totally not jealous of Christina Koch, the NASA astronaut who now holds the record for being the woman farthest away from Earth. Katherine Walker, 36, announced h…
AI commercial produced on budget of just 3 lakes
LOS ANGELES, CA — The advertising industry is abuzz after reports that a recent AI-made television commercial was produced on a budget of only three pristine Tennessee lakes. This marks a signifi…
Air Canada promises next CEO will gouge customers in both English and French
MONTREAL – With CEO Michael Rousseau stepping down following a widely-derided public statement made only in English, Air Canada has vowed that their next CEO will mercilessly overcharge tra…
Grieving woman trauma dumps to therapist who just wanted to catch up
BetterHelp, ON – Dr. Shelley Roberts was shocked when her therapy client started talking about intimate details of her life when all she wanted was a light catch up. “I just didn’t think i…
