LONDON – In the wake of Keir Starmer’s resignation as PM, Labour Party officials have announced a plan to select Canada’s Mark Carney as party leader and Prime Minister.
“It’s obviously a huge honour and one I’m happy to say yes to,” said Carney. “Having spent the last 14 months in a similar, albeit much less significant position, I feel ready to take on this challenge.”
“I think I can be just as popular there as I am in Canada, provided of course Nigel Farage also has a disturbingly nasal voice and a wood fetish.”
It’s unusual for a foreign national to become PM of the United Kingdom, especially one who is currently PM of their own country, which underscores just how interested Labour were in him taking on the role.
“It’s obviously bittersweet seeing Mark go,” said Liberal Minister Dominic LeBlanc. “But we don’t want to stand in the way of his dreams. Over there he’ll get to manage a way bigger economy AND meet the King every week. Also their Prime Minister’s residence isn’t a rotting, rat infested hovel that no one wants to pay to fix up, so there’s that.”
“It’s like when your favourite minor league hockey player gets called up to the NHL. You’re sad to see them go but proud you were a part of their journey. No matter how small.”
However some UK officials are concerned Carney will not stay in the position long, and will use it as a stepping stone to running an even larger economy like Germany, China or JPMorgan.
