HOLLYWOOD, CA – Following a long period of open rumours, clear public hints and confirmed direct accounts, popular daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has officially come out as mean. Th…
Entertainment
Canadian Army stands down after Schitt’s Creek gets 15 Emmy nominations
OTTAWA – A violent international incident has been averted as the U.S.-based Academy of Television Arts & Sciences recognized the final season of the Canadian TV show Schitt’s Creek wit…
2020 Song of Summer is your colleagues yelling “You’re on mute!”
TORONTO, ON – After several weeks of indecision, it was finally revealed that the official 2020 summer song is your colleagues yelling “You’re On Mute!” Sure to be a classic for years to co…
One Direction reach 10-year anniversary, submit bodies to recycler to make way for fresh crop of heartthrobs
LOS ANGELES – Hit boy-band One Direction are celebrating their 10-year anniversary this week before surrendering their bodies back to the music industry to be recycled. The group was assemb…
Avatar 2 delayed until after Avatar 3
LOS ANGELES – Director James Cameron has announced today that Avatar 2, the long-gestating sequel to his 2009 magnum opus, has been delayed by COVID-19 restrictions, and will not be coming …
The Beaverton’s top five four three two one uncancellable hunks of Hollywood
Guess what, Beav Babes? The annual list you’ve been waiting for is finally here! Every year we assemble a list of five guaranteed unproblematic hot Hollywood hunks that you can crush on, 100% gui…
Festivals on indefinite hold until deemed safe enough to have a 6’8’’ man block your view
GENEVA – Plans to allow music festivals to continue with their rescheduled dates have been put on indefinite hold by the World Health Organization until deemed safe enough to have a 6’8” ma…
Toddler finally has time to catch up with latest season of Doc McStuffins
WINDSOR, ON – As the Covid-19 pandemic continues to keep most Canadians indoors, many are using their down time to catch up on things they wouldn’t have time for otherwise. Among them is 2-…
Ben Mulroney steps aside from ETalk to make space for White Saviour complex
TORONTO – Amidst the controversy surrounding wife Jessica Mulroney, Etalk anchor Ben Mulroney has announced his departure from the show in order to focus on his white savior complex. “I lov…
Health Canada orders all people to wear full-body costumes from the Masked Singer when out in public
OTTAWA – In the midst of many provinces reopening parts of their cities during the COVID-19 pandemic, federal health officials have mandated that anyone attending a public business must wear an e…