OTTAWA – The Château Laurier has added ten new emergency eye wash stations for locals and tourists alike in the event their eyes come in direct contact with the newly approved addition. Wit…
Ottawa
Ottawa residents spontaneously construct trailer park after third tornado
OTTAWA – Locals from the Ottawa-Gatineau area have spontaneously constructed an extensive trailer park to fit its new role as Canada’s tornado alley. Over 200 mobile homes and trailers have…
Trudeau attempts fancy cabinet shuffle, spills MPs all over floor
OTTAWA – In what political insiders are calling his first major misstep of an election year, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau humiliated himself today by trying and failing to pull off a very …
Sandra Oh makes history by becoming first good thing to come out of Ottawa
OTTAWA – Last night was a night of firsts, as Sandra Oh became the first person of Asian descent to host the Golden Globes, the first woman of Asian descent to win multiple Golden Globes, a…
Trudeau seen wearing traditional western suit and tie
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was spotted arriving at a recent session of parliament wearing a tailored suit, Oxford shirt and traditional necktie in an apparent nod to the ceremon…
Update: Ottawa’s mayor Jim Watson unaware of results after blocking most of the city on Twitter
OTTAWA – Mayor-elect Jim Watson is oblivious to his victory after blocking most Twitter accounts that he has deemed as trolls. Watson, who handily won his third term, blocked every media so…
ByWard Bear incident exceeds Ottawa’s annual excitement quota
OTTAWA — Following the tranquilization and removal of a bear roaming around Ottawa’s ByWard Market neighbourhood, the City of Ottawa announced that it has exceeded its excitement quota for …
Trump excited to welcome ‘Canada Pence’ to White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise revelation, Donald Trump announced that he is looking forward to meeting a former Canadian Prime Minister, which he repeatedly referred to as “Canada Pence”. “Tre…
Ottawa Senators head into trade deadline looking to acquire dedicated fan base
OTTAWA – With the NHL’s trade deadline rapidly approaching, franchises are looking to improve the strength of their team by any means necessary. For the Ottawa Senators this means heading i…
Parliament Hill cancels NYE plans after failing to anticipate winter might be cold
OTTAWA – Many of the Canada 150 New Year’s Eve celebrations have been cancelled after event organizers failed to consider the possibility of winter. Despite the considerable cost and hours …