OTTAWA – The City of Ottawa has confirmed SNC-Lavalin will construct Stage 3 of the Ottawa LRT after submitting a blank sheet of paper as a design. Despite lacking any details on trains, tr…
Ottawa
Report: Ottawa’s LRT designers inspired by Phoenix pay system
OTTAWA – Designers of Ottawa’s new light rail transit line were reportedly inspired by the Canada’s dysfunctional pay system for federal public servants. Documents indicate the French rail …
Senate costs rise by a third, productivity stays steady at zero
OTTAWA — After it was revealed that Trudeau’s reforms to the Senate had increased the budget by one third, the government has assured Canadians that the increase in no way made the bo…
OC Transpo bus brought out of retirement ‘getting too old for this shit’
OTTAWA – Remarking with a heavy sigh, an aging OC Transpo bus that was called up from an impending retirement due to the LRT’s failings is “getting too old for this shit.” For 27 years, the…
Voters send clear message of “ugh, fine, Trudeau again, I guess”
OTTAWA – Exercising their democratic rights, voters across Canada today sent a clear, unambiguous message to Ottawa of, “sure, whatever, Trudeau, I guess.” Adding “He’s fine. I mean, he’s n…
OC Transpo recommends Ottawa commuters leave for work a week earlier
OTTAWA – Ottawa’s public transit service is advising that area commuters should arrive at any bus or LRT stop a week in advance as a precaution to avoid being late for work. “We are still m…
Château Laurier adds emergency eyewash stations for those disgusted with addition
OTTAWA – The Château Laurier has added ten new emergency eye wash stations for locals and tourists alike in the event their eyes come in direct contact with the newly approved addition. Wit…
Ottawa residents spontaneously construct trailer park after third tornado
OTTAWA – Locals from the Ottawa-Gatineau area have spontaneously constructed an extensive trailer park to fit its new role as Canada’s tornado alley. Over 200 mobile homes and trailers have…
Trudeau attempts fancy cabinet shuffle, spills MPs all over floor
OTTAWA – In what political insiders are calling his first major misstep of an election year, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau humiliated himself today by trying and failing to pull off a very …
Sandra Oh makes history by becoming first good thing to come out of Ottawa
OTTAWA – Last night was a night of firsts, as Sandra Oh became the first person of Asian descent to host the Golden Globes, the first woman of Asian descent to win multiple Golden Globes, a…