City of Montreal bans public places near smokers
MONTREAL – After agreeing that city parks, restaurants and museums are making it increasingly difficult for Montrealers to light up cigarettes without moral hesitation, the Montreal City Council …
UofT students shocked to discover white, male authority figure has prejudices
TORONTO – The recent controversial statements of noted author David Gilmour have dumbfounded the students of University of Toronto who had, until that time, intrinsically trusted all Caucas…
Blue Jays playing last game to catch up to Expos
TORONTO – The Blue Jays’ playoff push may have ended 160 games ago but on the baseball season’s final day, there is still hope that they can finish ahead of the Montreal Expos. “It’s been a…
When Elections Canada was investigating me, I shouldn’t have challenged them to charge me
DEAN DEL MASTRO, MP FOR PETERBOROUGH I’ve had some time since I resigned from the Conservatives to reflect on what happened and I’m starting to think that provoking Elections Canada to issue char…
Corporation copyrights© the term ‘copyright’©
WASHINGTON – In a surprise move, the US Supreme Court has ruled that Koch Industries has exclusive rights to the term ‘copyright’© and its use in all forms of expression. Chief Justice John…
Elizabeth May expels herself from caucus for not toeing party line
OTTAWA – MP Elizabeth May will now sit as an independent after being booted from the single-member Green Party caucus by herself earlier this morning. Green Party leader Elizabeth May said …
Gilles Duceppe found living under Quebec’s last uncollapsed bridge
MONTREAL – Structural engineers inspecting an overpass last Thursday were shocked to discover that it was still standing and mildly surprised to find former Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe c…
Local man excited the whole thing in Syria is over
MILTON – After weeks of worrying, Timothy Pond was relieved to hear the whole situation in Syria had been solved. Pond, a 46-year-old construction worker from Milton, believes the chemical disarm…
Study: Winnipeg still exists
Somewhere in Manitoba – Researchers have determined that a city once thought to be lost in the Manitoban wilderness is continuing to endure. The existence of Winnipeg [pronounced “Win-uh-pe…
