Despite the results being posted two days ago, Sun newspaper outlets have steadfastly denied the existence of a Liberal majority government and have continued to assume Conservative leader Stephen Harper will carry on his mandate as Prime Minister.
“We’re happy to report the Conservatives have won every seat in Parliament,” said a hysterical Toronto Sun editor-in-chief Adrienne Batra. “He will be our Prime Minister for the next 100 years. Harper is Lord! Harper is Lord!”
The newspaper, known for reporting its alternative version of events, said that Harper swept all opposition parties in every riding after the Conservatives ran a campaign of truth, transparency, and patriotism.
Psychologists explain this phenomena as the two stages of grief newspapers experience when their preferred candidate or political party loses an election.
“The first stage is denial of the events that occurred,” explained Dr. Ravi Chodri, head of the University of Toronto’s psychology department. “Followed by anger, anger and more anger. And that’s it.”
According to sources, the Globe and Mail has made progress in accepting the Trudeau Liberals victory, but has not accepted it as the next government.