WINDSOR — Crisis was averted over the weekend when local cashier Jennifer Pratt successfully convinced her mother that the ashtray in her living room is for guest use only. “Usually I’m meticulou…
Family
Teen listening intently to grandmother for deep dive on latest “Nanalore”
RAWDON, QC – Local teen Ben Glasgow, age 16, was listening intently to his grandmother’s origin story to catch up on the latest “Nanalore” drop. His grandmother, Grace Glasgow, was recounti…
Child affected by book bans occupies time watching pornography and violent videos instead
PETERBOROUGH, ON ― Local child Raymond Connor, 9, has drastically improved his skills at multiple first-person shooter games this past month, as book bans have come into effect at his school boar…
Toddler more excited to see garbage truck than own father
OSHAWA – Pete Flannigan, father to three-year-old Luca, returned home last night to a crushing realization; his son is more excited to see a vehicle hauling fifteen tons of stinking garbage…
Toddler news: Mom has her own mom, and her name is Grandma
Bunny Hop Preschool – In shocking news to toddlers everywhere, it has been discovered that Mommy has her own mommy, and you’ll never guess who it is. Grandma! It may seem hard to believe, becaus…
Mom on day three of telling story about bowl she saw at store that looked just like her bowl
Collingwood, ON — It’s official: after three days, Mom is still telling that story about a bowl she saw at the store that looked almost exactly like her bowl from home. It all started on Friday,…
Cheap dad treats kids to Ripley’s Believe it Or Not! lobby visit
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – While on a recent family vacation, father Todd Evans reached an impressive level of frugality by treating his wife and kids to a visit to the Ripley’s Believe It O…
Man who never visits own grandmother heartbroken over Queen Elizabeth’s death
VANCOUVER – Jason Klein, who has only visited his 98-year-old grandmother twice in the last five years despite living less than a half-hour’s drive away, is still reeling from the news that…
Pervert time traveller reports that your grandpa was hung
OTTAWA – A time traveller from the 25th century has reported that your grandfather packed some serious equipment and knew just how to use it. “I’m sure you only thought of your grandpa as a dodde…
Deadbeat sun thinks it can just come back after all this time
VANCOUVER — Across the city Spring has begun unfolding in all the predictable ways; flowers blooming, jackets shrinking, and The Sun, that deadbeat asshole, sneaking back into our lives expecting…