STANFORD, CA ― Belief in a massive, logistically impossible conspiracy theory wherein NASA has spent more time pretending they went to the moon than it took them to actually go there does not sug…
Relationship
Crying character in movie can’t find perfect wall to slide down
FAKE NEW YORK – Emma Sanford, a character in the recent Netflix romcom Here And/Or There who recently experienced an upsetting breakup, has reported being unable to find the perfect wall to…
Sex playlist a little heavy on the banjo
REGINA – According to sexually frustrated sources, Charlie Walker is facing criticism for trying to set a romantic mood with an excess of banjo music. “Look, I get it, the right twanging chord ca…
Farsighted man can only find clitoris from across the room
THUNDER BAY, ON – Optometrist Dr. Emily Hu wasn’t looking for a new case study when she discovered her new boyfriend Hunter Nelson’s excellent far vision somehow hindered his ability to fin…
Spence Diamonds guarantees all holiday purchases: “If your wife doesn’t give you a blow job, Spence will!”
VANCOUVER, BC – Spence Diamonds now offers an added incentive to holiday shoppers – a customer satisfaction guarantee that if the giftee does not give head, Spence will be there to offer his. As …
“Fair Enough,” says boyfriend definitely listening
WHITBY, ON – “Fair Enough,” responded local boyfriend Shaun Wright, after noticing a pause in his girlfriend’s mumblings, which he assumed to be the end of her story. The exchange too…
Dealbreaker! Date doesn’t want to watch your favourite movie
Moncton, NB – On the third date when Donald McFlagen invited potential new girlfriend, Alexandra Jakins over, he was shocked when she had no interest in watching any of his favourite movies…
“And m’lady will have the McNuggets” says modern chevalier
EDMONTON – A scene straight out of an old-fashioned romance is unfolding at the West Edmonton Mall McDonald’s as a modern knight is ordering his date’s meal for her. “Tell me, do you desire both …
Parents wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like
YOUR PARENTS HOUSE – In the never-ending series of life choices you’ve made that baffle your parents, today they are wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like…
Couple struggling to find perfect amount of life insurance that will secure future but not encourage murder
VANCOUVER – A local couple are having a hard time finding the right amount of life insurance coverage that would protect their future but not inspire them to murder one another. Michael and…