MONTREAL — In a seemingly never-ending sequence of horrible moments, a first date between Melanie Tremblant and Danny Simpson has just entered its 7,200th second and currently shows no signs of e…
Relationship
Woman weds space heater in beautiful backyard ceremony
VICTORIA BC- The love between a woman and her soulmate knows no bounds and Rebecca Hogan proved that earlier today as she tied the knot with her longtime beau, a Honeywell HCE100 Series ceramic h…
No one more excited for your divorce than also divorced Julie from finance
ST. CATHARINES, ONT – Following the announcement that Alison Hampstead and her husband of six years have decided to end their marriage, Julie Holloman, who works in the finance department, has se…
Family selling van that each of their children lost their virginity in
BATHURST, NB – A 2008 Honda Odyssey that made multiple trips through Canada’s East Coast and was a hub for horny teens to lose their virginity in is up for sale. Rod, patriarch of the Delon…
Straight woman outraged that lesbian friend does not have a crush on her
HAMILTON, ONT. – Local woman, Jessica Milton, who identifies as straight, was left shocked and bewildered upon learning that her lesbian friend, Taylor Kennedy, does not, in fact, have a crush on…
Local woman deletes Tinder for the last time for the fifth time this year
TORONTO – Yesterday, Mandy Timmins triumphantly announced to her family, friends, and coworkers that she had just removed the Tinder app from her phone for what she promised will be “the last tim…
Report: Most millennials wait until after the third date to be emotionally vulnerable
WINDSOR – A recent report has found that, on average, single Millennials will wait until at least the third date before deciding to be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. Take, for e…
Boyfriend not sure about this “top sheet” thing
SACKVILLE, NS – Local boyfriend Robert Bell is voicing concerns about the top-sheet that was recently installed on his double twin bed by girlfriend Nila Joshi. “I already have a sheet!” Be…
Study shows women without spouses are happier, healthier and so horny
OTTAWA, ON — A recent study has revealed that women without the partnership of a spouse exhibit characteristics of more happiness, better health and the most horniness a person can feel. Th…
‘Chivalry is dead,’ whines man who has never once presided over a village of unwashed peasants
TORONTO – After a disappointing first date in which he felt his romantic gestures went unappreciated, Mike Peterson mourned the demise of chivalry, despite having never led an army, compete…