TORONTO – Yesterday, Mandy Timmins triumphantly announced to her family, friends, and coworkers that she had just removed the Tinder app from her phone for what she promised will be “the last tim…
Relationship
Report: Most millennials wait until after the third date to be emotionally vulnerable
WINDSOR – A recent report has found that, on average, single Millennials will wait until at least the third date before deciding to be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. Take, for e…
Boyfriend not sure about this “top sheet” thing
SACKVILLE, NS – Local boyfriend Robert Bell is voicing concerns about the top-sheet that was recently installed on his double twin bed by girlfriend Nila Joshi. “I already have a sheet!” Be…
Study shows women without spouses are happier, healthier and so horny
OTTAWA, ON — A recent study has revealed that women without the partnership of a spouse exhibit characteristics of more happiness, better health and the most horniness a person can feel. Th…
‘Chivalry is dead,’ whines man who has never once presided over a village of unwashed peasants
TORONTO – After a disappointing first date in which he felt his romantic gestures went unappreciated, Mike Peterson mourned the demise of chivalry, despite having never led an army, compete…
Couple concerned they’ll have to live up to their overly ambitious sexts
Peterborough, ON – After a pre-work make out session this morning, local couple Dirk Rosar and Kristen Lamers exchanged what sources are calling “highly ambitious” sexual text messages with…
Escape Room provides authentic experience of having girlfriend solve your problems for you
VAUGHAN, ON – Local woman, Caroline Burton, visited Lockpick Escape Rooms this past Thursday to play a new fantasy themed puzzle, “Deep Dungeons of the Darkspawn Guild” with her boyfriend, …
Activist begins Tinder date with land acknowledgement
TORONTO – Upon seeing one another in-person for the first time at local dive bar Scrungie’s, internet activist Dillon Sanders introduced himself to his date Rebecca Holder by way of a cerem…
Second base now redefined as eating ass
PETERBOROUGH, ON – Due to a growing increase in sexual expression and a more prevalent hookup culture, the long-standing system of “bases” used to define the progression of sexual acts have…
9 out of 10 boyfriends wearing shirts they just found somewhere they can’t remember
MONTREAL — In a study done by Concordia University, it has officially been proven that 9 out of 10 boyfriends’ shirts come from somewhere that no boyfriend can remember. Following years of …