QUIZ: Will your child be an NHL star or are you too poor to afford thousands in upfront costs?
With hockey season getting underway, a new journey is about to begin for thousands of children across the nation. They’ll be stepping onto the ice for the first time with dreams of one day …
Scheer claims ‘People’s Party’ discriminatory to marionettes like himself
OTTAWA – Following last week’s announcement that Maxime Bernier’s new political party will be known as the People’s Party of Canada, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has spoken out against the n…
Smugly telling grocery store cashier that he brought his own bags clearly making local man’s day
Sarnia, ON – Reports from inside a Sobey’s indicate that local man Gregory Sinclair is absolutely relishing the moment where he told the young lady ringing in his groceries that he didn’t n…
Ontario News Now host blinks Morse code for help
TORONTO – While delivering her propaganda report to Ontarians to justify eliminating city councillor seats while lambasting the Ontario PC’s opponents, staffer Lyndsey Vanstone blinked out …
Doug Ford’s Midnight Society introduces only the most horrifying legislation
QUEEN’S PARK — To speed through passage of his controversial Bill 31 cutting Toronto city council in half, last night Doug Ford held a midnight session where members could pass their most “…
Trump orders FEMA to put all their efforts into cleaning up devastation of Manafort guilty plea
WASHINGTON – The White House has released a statement authorizing the Federal Emergency Management Agency to redirect all of its resources to the destructive impact of Paul Manafort’s coope…
New Brunswick election update: New Brunswick appears to be having an election
FREDERICTION – Although unconfirmed, reports from inside the long forgotten land of New Brunswick suggests the locals are in the process of choosing a new Premier. “Obviously we don&#…
Starship from old ‘flying through space’ screensaver finally reaches destination
THE INTERNET – Fans of classic screensavers were privy to a very special sight today as the starship that has been live-streaming its journey in the form of the starfield/warp screensaver a…
Sir Topham Hatt resigns amid allegations of being “weird with the trains”
ISLAND OF SODOR – Sir Topham Hatt, the longtime controller of the North West Railway on the Island of Sodor, resigned at a press conference yesterday after several reports surfaced of bizar…
Undercover cop at high school successfully completes high school
Victoria, BC – After five years of fruitlessly investigating minor drug crimes at a local high school, sources have confirmed that undercover RCMP officer Frank ‘Frankie’ DeRosa…
