OTTAWA – In light of the severe humiliation Canada is experiencing on the world stage due to the country’s inability to handle the anti-vaccine protesters, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is …
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Ottawa Police issue apology to protesters for any inconvenience they may have caused
OTTAWA – The Ottawa Police Service issued a statement apologising to the protesters that descended on the nation’s capital this past weekend for any trouble their presence may have caused t…
BuzzFeed posts “Which Of The Journalists We Just Laid Off Are You?” quiz
NEW YORK CITY – BuzzFeed is encouraging readers to design their dream Disney date to help them determine which of the 70 journalists, producers, editors, and other workers they just laid off they…
Breaking: Wrong person responds to thirst trap
MONTREAL – In a devastating turn of events, we can report that this evening the wrong person has responded to your thirst trap. The undeniably hot photo you recently posted – lounging…
International pedophile ring brought down by guy whose profile pic is a sunset
HUNTSVILLE, ON – A global ring of wealthy, politically connected child traffickers has been exposed and subsequently brought to justice by a guy on Facebook whose profile photo is a low-res…
Update: More murder hornets imprisoned this year than killer cops
NORTH AMERICA – New research shows that the number of police officers that are apprehended and brought to justice for incidents of police brutality against black people remain criminally lo…
Police seek public’s help identifying looters
American authorities are asking for the public’s help in a nationwide manhunt for two men caught on camera looting during a time of emergency. Witnesses say the men pictured took advantage of a h…
Breaking: U.S. government
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After chugging along for almost 250 years, the U.S. government looks to be on its last legs. “It’s not the oldest government, and by virtually every metric it’…
Breaking: Irresponsible friend offering to babysit as a ‘favour’
Victoria, BC – In an act that witnesses described as ‘misguided’ and ‘galling”, well known irresponsible friend, Toby Gortham has offered to babysit David and Carly Worthing’s 2-year-old so…
BREAKING: Somebody liked a pic you posted two years ago
THE INTERNET – Social media notifications have confirmed that a photo of yourself that you posted more than two years ago on a day when you felt cute has received a new like, prompting a de…