Pearson Airport, Toronto – In a recent announcement, the cash-strapped airline industry has announced that every bag will require its own ticket. Instead of overhead bins, retrofitted plane…
Travel
“Well, that’s not how they do it in Winnipeg,” says man who just returned from Winnipeg
TORONTO – After a recent weekend spent in far-flung Winnipeg, Gerald Skinner is regaling friends and family with tales of life in the exotic international city. “A chicken finger, you say? Intere…
Suicide Bomber would rather live than fly Air Canada, again
WINNIPEG – Aspiring suicide bomber William Pettinger is expressing frustration at his inability to live out his dreams due to ongoing frustrations with Air Canada. “I would love nothing mor…
Woman takes gap year to backpack through The Bay
MONTREAL – At 7:42 PM on Tuesday, McGill University student, Kathleen Beauce, sent an email to her friends, family, and favorite professors detailing her plans to take a year off school to …
“Sit the fuck down, you miserable little cretins” begins Air Canada apology statement
MONTREAL – Air Canada has issued a statement on its latest scandal, calling the complainants “a bunch of pasty-faced fucks” who “couldn’t board a plane if it was parked up their own assholes” as …
Seasoned traveller impresses date by showing up for dinner wearing neck pillow
EDMONTON — Self-styled globetrotter and citizen of the world Bryan Kneeth scored major points with his date by showing up for dinner wearing his favourite neck pillow. “I’ve seen guys boarding pl…
Canadian tourist shocked to discover other countries don’t put shitty carnivals next to their Wonders Of The World
EGYPT – In the midst of a grand tour to see all the wonders of the world, Canadian Jacob Pleasance was surprised that, unlike Niagara Falls, not all the Wonders Of The World are accompanied…
Unworn shirt just happy to be part of vacation wardrobe
WINNIPEG — After failing to make it out of the hotel room on a recent trip to Honolulu, insurance broker Dave Watt’s paisley button up shirt says it’s just happy to be part of the vacation wardro…
Huh. Via Train just started going backwards
Belleville(ish), ON – The Via Train from Toronto to Montreal that has been stopped somewhere around Belleville for the last twenty minutes has started going backwards and everyone on board …
Mask-free passenger at last tastes exquisite bacchanalian delight of unprotected airplane air
AIRSPACE — Following lifting of mask mandates for air and train travel, passengers across Canada are finally free to reemerge into the sensual garden of pleasures waiting for them on the inside o…