QUINTE WEST, ON — Local 17-year-old Hunter Ryan is finalizing plans for his long-anticipated one-year backpacking tour of his parents’ house. “It’s gonna be an awesome chance to spread my w…
Travel
Oh No: This COVID hotel has themed rooms
Need yet another reason to postpone travel during this once-in-a-century global pandemic? This quarantine hotel has you covered – by mandating themed rooms for all international arrivals! T…
Nation’s lonesome travellers sick of telling wayward dogs to “g’on now, get”
BOXCAR JUNCTION – In a rare break from nomadic life, the nation’s lonesome travellers assembled today inside a moving freight car they all hopped into, to declare they are sick of telling w…
Boris Johnson announces that UK residents will only be allowed to leave their homes to colonize a sovereign nation
LONDON, UK – Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that, as a measure to combat the new strain of COVID-19, residents of the United Kingdom will only be permitted to leave their homes …
Report: India’s lockdown leads to 500% drop in white people finding themselves
TORONTO – According to a report released by the University of Toronto, the COVID-19 travel restrictions in India has led to a 500% decrease in white Canadians “just finding themselves…
Explorers discover uncharted tropical island populated entirely by Canadian politicians
SOMEWHERE OFF THE COAST OF CUBA – Explorers have stumbled upon an entirely uncharted island between Cuba and Jamaica with a population that consists solely of Canadian politicians on holida…
Disney World Darth Vader actually having trouble breathing
ORLANDO, FL – Numerous Disney World customers were annoyed after one of the actors playing Darth Vader actually had trouble breathing due to contracting corona-virus from park patrons. “It …
Lost dog finds himself in Bali
BALI – Earlier this week it was confirmed that Kevin, a lost German Shepard who first rose to Insta fame after posting a pic in his ‘favourite houndstooth sweater’, has recently found himse…
Local Aunt needs a vacation from her vacation
HAMILTON, ON– During a ten day all-inclusive trip to Cuba, local aunt Brenda Sommers has officially declared that she officially needs a vacation from the very vacation she is currently exp…
European relatives visiting Toronto say they’d love to drive and see the Rocky Mountains while they’re here
TORONTO – After unpacking their bags in the guest room they’ll be using for their five day stay in Toronto, Hans and Heidi Bergmann have casually mentioned that they’re interested in popping over…