New mother kicked-out of restaurant for breastfeeding self
KAMLOOPS, B.C. – Local mother Tabitha McMillian is speaking up against what she is calling the unjust shame imposed on women’s bodies, after she was asked to leave a restaurant for breastfe…
New PQ leader to add ‘maybe’ to referendum options
QUEBEC – The new Leader of the Parti Québécois has vowed to introduce a third ‘maybe’ option in the event of an another referendum. Jean-François Lisée promised that, in the event of a refe…
Disaster looms as man’s balls become itchy just five minutes into transit commute
TORONTO – Tensions are high on the 7 Bathurst bus this morning, as local man Michael Burke’s balls have become itchy only minutes after beginning his morning commute to work. “This is…
Baby shocked to learn its name is Wayne
WEYBURN, SK – As local infant Wayne Bender gained an increased sense of awareness of the world Thursday, he was startled to discover his name was, in fact, Wayne. What began as a thrilling …
Study: Yes you should become a DJ
KINGSTON – A recently published multidisciplinary research study at Queen’s University has concluded that yes, you should totally be a DJ. “We rated performance in a variety of categories, …
EDITORIAL: Just a heads up that Tommy is bringing a Chinese girl to Thanksgiving this year – by Aunt Pam
Hi all, it’s your Aunt Pam writing with the annual Thanksgiving instruction e-mail. I have some important news to tell everyone so please read this carefully. I just got off the phone with Nancy …
Blue Jays conspiracy theorists cling to “second thrower” theory
TORONTO – With police claiming to have identified the man who threw a beer can onto the field during Tuesday’s wild-card game, a vocal subset of fans insist there was an unidentified “secon…
PEI tabloid enters third straight week of Jack and Cheryl coverage
CHARLOTTETOWN – Prince Edward Island’s leading tabloid magazine The Tater has now entered its third consecutive week of in depth coverage on local couple Jack and Cheryl’s relationship. Res…
Scientists develop first Asian fusion reactor
TORONTO – For the first time ever, engineers at the University of Toronto have successfully built a scalable reactor capable of cold Asian fusion. “Make no mistake, this is the most importa…
St. Catharines to change name so people spell it right
ST. CATHARINES [sic] – The largest city in the Niagara peninsula has decided to change its name after realizing that the spelling of “St. Catharines” has been wrong for over two…