GENEVA – A consortium of environmental scientists released a declaration that humanity’s accelerating march toward climate catastrophe had previously been avoidable before you left the ligh…
Climate Change
Leaders assure world they have climate change plan to save themselves and that’s all
WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Climate crisis: Popsicle consumption no longer looks erotic
OTTAWA – As temperatures rise across Canada, reports are rolling in that the searing heat has eliminated the titillation watching someone eat a popsicle used to provide. “My partner used to slowl…
US Supreme Court rules Environmental Protection Agency’s powers do not extend to protecting environment
WASHINGTON — The US Supreme Court has struck down the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) ability to limit greenhouse pollution from power plants, arguing that protecting the environment does…
Mona Lisa responds to climate protest with weird little smile, like this is some fucking game
PARIS – Visitors to the Louvre today reacted with shock as a one-man climate protest took the form of a cake being thrown at star attraction Mona Lisa, whose own reaction to the ballistic b…
Furious Liberals deny accusation that they’re trying to protect the environment
OTTAWA – Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault is adamant that the Conservatives are lying about the Liberals imposing a new green tax on pickup trucks and wants to assure the public that …
Liberals announce plans to continue announcing plans to, one day, cut emission rates
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau’s Liberals have announced their latest announcement to announce that at some point they will actually announce how they will cut Canada’s emission rates.…
Climate Change considering makeover to stand out amongst shiny new calamities
NEW YORK – A dire new report released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) on the horrific effects of the climate crisis has been swiftly overshadowed by news about the R…
Oil and gas companies team up to fight climate change by eliminating “Warmest Regards”
CALGARY – Several giants of the Canadian oil and gas industry announced this week that they have teamed up to fight climate change by banning all employees from signing off emails with the …
Weatherman predicting thunderstorm condemned for encouraging rain
VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil &…