CBC splits single white man’s salary between two women, two minorities
TORONTO – Following the departure of longtime anchor Peter Mansbridge, CBC executives have decided to hire a diverse collection of hosts, each of whom will receive an equal share of Mansbri…
Canadian dairy lobbyists accidentally buy $200 million worth of influence in Department of Fisheries
OTTAWA – After several mishaps and one case of mistaken identity, the giant Dairy Farmers of Canada lobby group accidentally spent $200 million on favourable legislation and treatment in th…
Anthony Scaramucci sets land speed record for fastest Trump Admin career immolation
WASHINGTON DC — Clocking in at just under 10 days on the job, White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci has completed a record-breaking run for destroying one’s entire career a…
Feds swiftly respond to Saudi’s use of Canadian equipment against civilians with warning label
OTTAWA – Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland says that all Canadian military-grade equipment purchased by the Saudi government will now come with a stern warning label to discourage …
Friends hold emergency meeting after Sarah starts dating longboarder
MONTREAL – The friends of Sarah called an emergency meeting yesterday after receiving confirmation that she was in fact dating a longboarder. “Order. Order everyone!” said Sarah’s bff and founder…
BRT proves how the MSM’s Donald Trump Russia story is TOTAL BS!
Our #fun #russianfunded social media channel shows us why.…
Kid not allowed to eat candy reports apples ‘fun snack’
TORONTO- Biting into cut up pieces of honeycrisp prepared by his health conscious parents, local six year old, Thurman Jackson, made news this week after officially declaring apples a “fun snack.…
Student on study abroad has deep realization that they love cheap drugs and boning down
PRAGUE – International Relations student Michael Kenley has had a huge self-realization while on his summer abroad in Europe, discovering deep down that he loves readily accessible drugs an…
‘Buy American’ legislation forces man to source his kangaroo milk from Nebraska
OHIO- As a result of the America-first economic policies of Donald Trump, Ohioan Brad Frasier now has no recourse but to use inferior, Nebraskan-quality Kangaroo products. “How am I supposed to p…
Christy Clark resigns as CEO of B.C. Liberals
VANCOUVER – After losing a motion of non-confidence with investors following a rocky second quarter, Christy Clark has decided to step down as CEO of the B.C. Liberal Party and take her sev…
