By: Tad Arlington
Coffee shops just don’t know when to quit, do they?
Not only are they popping up on every corner, and regularly raising their already abhorrent prices, but they also incessantly offer me coffee and food when they know perfectly well that I’m only there to charge my phone, my laptop, and also my car.
As a consumer, I’m ready to put up with a lot. I memorize the complex, faux-Italian naming schemes of delicious beverages I enjoy, and I insert my debit card whenever they mumble guiltily that “tap isn’t working today”. However, what I refuse to countenance and accept is the idea that once I’ve bought one teabag of earl grey tea in the biggest cup they have, that I should still be a target for pestering and salesmanship.
If I wanted food or drink, I’d go to a restaurant. This is a cafe, damn it! This is a place of work!
Even on the occasions that I choose to nurse my thin tea for five hours and forty one minutes (incidentally the amount of time it takes to charge my phone, laptop and car fully if I cannot plug in my car right away), that should not make me a target for quiet, polite inquiry about whether I’d like to “order something else” or “enjoy some more free hot water”.
I am a Canadian citizen. And as a Canadian citizen, the charter of rights and freedoms entitles me to basic human rights, which I believe extend to my phone, my laptop and my car as well.
So, Mr. Barista, next time you have an urge to get in my personal space with a free banana loaf sample in the fleeting hope that I might spend enough in your store to offset the electricity I use up, THINK AGAIN.
I’m not here for you, sir. I’m here for my phone, laptop and car.