‘I genuinely enjoyed that opera’ reports local liar
VANCOUVER – After attending a production of La Bohème local resident Katy Berks has erroneously reported that it was an enjoyable and enriching experience. “I just had the best time at the …
Ambitious business student dreams of one day receiving bonus for bankrupting company
LONDON, ON – A second year business student is chasing his dream of climbing the corporate executive ladder so that one day he is rewarded with a large executive bonus for running the compa…
Guide To: Australia
Thinking of visiting Canada’s 11th province?…
Trudeau tweets message welcoming world’s refugees to Canadian prisons
OTTAWA – After a federal judge upheld the government’s right to indefinitely detain immigrants as it sees fit, Trudeau sent a triumphant humanitarian tweet, inviting refugees from all over …
DEVELOPING: Frightened man claims to have seen a “G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g”
COBWEB CREEK, AB – Early reports are surfacing that after exploring the creepy abandoned house overlooking Cobweb Creek, a terrified man has come running down the driveway, claiming to have…
US health care debacle makes local man proud of system that’s unaffordable for 10% of Canadians
HALIFAX – After seeing several news reports stating upwards of 30 million Americans could lose health insurance, local man Oscar Mcallister says he’s proud to live in a country where only t…
Quiz: Are you a rock, a paper or some weird third thing?
We all love the classic game Rock vs. Paper, but we’ve all also wondered at one point whether we’re more like rock or paper, or, god forbid, an object that is somehow neither. Take our quiz to re…
Justin Trudeau graces Rolling Stone cover to shore up American base
NEW YORK – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made the cover of Rolling Stone’s August issue in his latest attempt to appeal to his most supportive constituents; American liberals who don’t …
Stock image of white guy running Conservative Party unveils Leadership Team: stock image of white family
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts…
Kingston man unable to repair home due to downed tree’s heritage status
KINGSTON, ON – A Kingstonian man has been unable to repair the damage to his home after a heritage-designated tree fell on top of it during a storm. The 223-year-old protected fir tree was …
