Tourists devastated by senseless photobombing
VENICE, ITALY – A total of 41 visitors to the city of Venice were tragically photobombed earlier today according to local authorities. In a Facebook post 19 year old Queens University stude…
Doug Ford promises to replace Liberal sex-ed curriculum with shoe box full of naked Barbies and GI Joes
TORONTO – After weeks of campaigning to repeal Kathleen Wynne’s inclusive sex-ed curriculum, Doug Ford has unveiled his replacement plan: a shoebox filled with nude Barbie and GI Joe dolls.…
5 flirty spring looks that are just winter parkas
Spring is finally here and there’s nothing like completely revamping your wardrobe after a long dreary winter to prep for an even longer and more dreary spring! Throw those stuffy old coats out a…
Archeologists unearth ancient iPod from 2005 in junk drawer
WINDSOR, ON – Calling it a “rare specimen”, archaeologists announced Friday that they have unearthed what appears to be an Apple iPod, dating it from the geological period of 2005 based on …
Trump eager to turn away Syrian refugees he’s currently creating
WASHINGTON — After calling for airstrikes on three government sites in Syria, President Trump is reportedly most excited about the prospect of denying refugee status to the untold Syrian ci…
Tim Hortons releases donut commemorating Humboldt Broncos donut PR disaster
OAKVILLE — Tim Hortons has released a second “tragedy donut” commemorating the PR disaster that followed the release of a Humboldt Bronco’s donut. The “PR Disaster” donut features miniature…
Local woman flattered coworker chose her office to cry in
VANCOUVER—Local claims adjuster Laura Filberg is reportedly feeling a mix of gratitude and pride after, following what appeared to be a brief moment of deliberation, her colleague selected her of…
Canadians excited to buy Second Cup marijuana if there’s no Starbucks nearby
VANCOUVER — Following the news that Second Cup will convert some of its coffee shops to marijuana dispensaries, Canadians have resoundingly responded by asking if there’s a Starbucks dispen…
Doug Ford sticking it to downtown elites by not having a platform or really any ideas
TORONTO – PC leader Doug Ford has continued to stand up for the little guy by having literally no plan for the province’s future. “Folks, those elites want to know if I’m going to slash hea…
Young, hotshot Curling prospect turns 45
St. Alberta, AB – Richard ‘stone master’ Jones, the young bad boy of the Alberta curling scene, turned 45 years old yesterday. “Richard is clearly the next generation of Skips,” said TSN cu…
