Houston Red Cross running dangerously low on thoughts and prayers
HOUSTON – The Houston chapter of the American Red Cross has issued a desperate plea for thoughts and prayers as Hurricane Harvey inundates southern Texas with record rainfall and devastatin…
But if we tear down the statues of Sir John A, how are we going to remember his legacy as a genocidal drunk?
Editorial by: T. Garrett McHue I’m deeply concerned that some of people who call themselves ‘Canadians’ are trying to rewrite Canadian history by tearing down statues of our First Prime Minister …
Man proud of Western Culture mostly just seems to like Seth MacFarlane
EDMONTON – Although he claims pride in the culture and traditions of the West, local man Eric Arlin mostly just seems to enjoy movies and TV shows written by Seth MacFarlane. “It’s time the…
Women crazy, says neurotic shambles of a man
TORONTO – Each and every single woman on the planet is crazy, according to research from Paul, a broken-down wreck of a human male. “Newsflash, uh, women are crazy,” said Paul, laughing far…
Scotiabank announces that all non-Leafs fans will have to pay $2.50 to use Scotiabank arena
TORONTO – The Air Canada Centre will be getting a new name along with an additional $2.50 fee for any non-Toronto Maple Leaf fans who wish to attend games. Scotiabank says that the fee is a…
QUIZ: Only 1 in 10 people know these letters of the alphabet!
Let’s face it, knowing the letters of the alphabet is hard. We all know A and B, but what about those ones at the end? X? What’s that? And let’s not get started on that whole L-M-N-O-P stretch. O…
Trudeau responds to Trump’s threat of ripping up NAFTA by laminating all trade deals
OTTAWA – After President Donald Trump once again threatened to “rip up” NAFTA, Justin Trudeau has begun laminating all international trade deals as a preventative strategy. “It is my duty to stan…
Local man hates new fantasy series that he’s absolutely going to read all of
CALGARY – After throwing down the first volume in disgust, local man Eric Patel declared that the new fantasy series Swords of Korregon is terrible but that he’s definitely still going to r…
Help, I’m a real journalist but I keep reporting on Justin Trudeau’s photo-ops without asking real questions!
By: Randi Bateman, Reporter I really need your help! I’m a real journalist, but I’m drawn into into the Prime Minister’s PR stunts, take dozens of photos, and report on it without asking a seriou…
Trump appoints Hurricane Harvey head of FEMA
HOUSTON — President Donald Trump has shocked Washington insiders by naming the Category 4 storm currently battering Houston as his head of the disaster relief agency FEMA. At 9:45pm Sunday …
