Still searching for buyer, Montreal Alouettes now listed as fully furnished

MONTREAL — In an attempt to entice an offer for the Montreal Alouettes, of which the Canadian Football League has recently taken ownership and has been struggling to find a potential buyer,…

Doug Ford to spend 5 month vacation criticizing teachers for their 3 month vacation

MUSKOKA, ON — After shuffling his cabinet and adjourning the provincial legislature, premier Doug Ford announced plans to spend his 5 month break criticizing the 3 month summer break that O…

Scientists confirm cool teenagers can smell your fear

KINGSTON, ON – A team of scientists at Queen’s University issued a press release yesterday stating that after a harrowing study, they have officially concluded that cool teenagers can smell when …

NASA proposes bold new plan to terraform Earth

PASADENA, CA – Hoping to inspire the public, NASA announced a bold new plan today to terraform Earth, saying that one day, humanity may be able to realize the far-off, distant possibility o…

Woman who gave stranger directions spotted frantically checking Google Maps two minutes later

VANCOUVER – Onlookers were shocked today when they witnessed a woman confidently give a lost motorist directions and then moments later pull out and check Google Maps. “I remember thinking,…

Canadians continue to await release of Conservative climate change plan

OTTAWA – Despite promises they would release it on June 19th, the federal Conservatives appear to be no closer to releasing their detailed plan for addressing climate change. “Frankly I don…

BC Parks adds volunteer firefighting to list of fun family campground activities

PRINCE GEORGE, BC – Members of the BC Parks Service are preparing to heat things up as they implement volunteer firefighting as an option to their camp activity calendar. “Families these da…

Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation

LONDON, ON – Western University has confirmed the smooth-talking star from the documentary “Dazed and Confused” will receive an honourary doctorate and speak at next year’s convocation for …

Liberals declare climate change emergency for a few hours before approving pipeline

OTTAWA – The Liberal government has announced the recent climate change emergency declaration is now over, thereby granting them the moral authority to approve the Trans Mountain pipeline. …

Snake can’t believe she still fits into her skin from 10 years ago

NARCISSE, MB – A local red sided garter snake took to a grass field to brag about how she can still squeeze into her old skin, which she shed some ten years ago. “Oh my God! ” said the snak…