CORNER BROOK, NL – Waiting to charge out at passing cars at any moment, authorities say the public should be on the lookout for a moose by the side of the highway whom they say is planning …
Nature
Biology: Virgin-ass Greenland shark doesn’t even hit sexual maturity until 150 years old
St John’s, Newfoundland — Despite melting polar ice caps and the global fish population plummeting, marine biologists across the globe have found themselves pointing at the sea, doubled ove…
Campfire smell lingers into third day
PETERBOROUGH, ON – The distinct smell of charcoal and woodsmoke continues to linger around an Ontario family three full days after returning from a weekend camping trip. “I didn’t mind the …
Pervy breeze caught blowing up dozens of skirts
SYDNEY N.S. – Footage has emerged on social media revealing a nefarious breeze reaching up the clothing of dozens of different people to tickle or caress their bare skin without consent. A …
Plastic bag trees in full bloom thanks to Canada’s preservation efforts
OTTAWA – Just as Canadians start to head outside and enjoy the warm weather, many of them will once again notice the colourful flowers of the plastic bag tree. Conservation efforts over the…
Imitation crab added to endangered species list
HALIFAX – In a press release this morning, the World Wildlife Fund declared that as a result of the immense popularity of affordable sushi and bland seafood salads, the imitation crab has o…
Local man unknowingly driving spirit animal extinct
VANCOUVER, BC- Sources confirm local man Greg Lommens continues to contribute to the endangerment of his spirit animal, the loggerhead turtle. “I was stoked when that quiz from Buzzfeed told me m…
Hanlan’s Point flooding drives nudist herd inland
TORONTO – Prolonged flooding at Hanlan’s Point Beach on the Toronto Island has forced the area’s endemic nudist population to migrate to the mainland, sparking a flurry of nudist sightings …
Inspiring! When people told him he would never amount to anything, this bear went on to maul 15 people!
We all love a good underdog story, but how about an underbear story? Meet Toby, a grizzly bear living in Algonquin park. Born stunted and unassuming in a bad part of the woods, nobody thought Tob…
Virgin tree excited to finally bust pollen load
WELLINGTON, ON – With the approach of warmer weather, a local virgin sugar maple is reportedly excited to finally “go all the way” and release his load of pollen that has been building up i…