HOLLYWOOD — With the holidays fast approaching, the Hallmark Channel has announced a slew of new movies including, The Woman Who Fell in Love With The Idea Of Christmas Itself.
“We are thrilled to be releasing The Woman Who Fell in Love With The Idea Of Christmas Itself”, reports head of Hallmark development, Cherry Rivers. “It has everything you love from Hallmark movies, but with the twist of no human love interest. It’s 2019 y’all – we don’t have to have women fall in love with people. Some women want to fall in love with the metaphorical idea of Christmas!”
Asked how they came up with the idea for an intangible love interest, Hallmark reports it came out of realizing the perfect man is as ludicrous as falling in love with just an idea. “So why not allow women to fantasize about something that is achievable for once,” added Rivers.
While critics have asked how “Christmas itself” will be represented in the movie, Hallmark confirms there will be a meet-cute by a Christmas tree, as well as an intensely erotic scene revolving heavily around the scent of cinnamon.
“Well, I don’t want to give spoilers,” claims Hallmark executive Karl Winters, “but when Christmas itself takes off its symbolic large flannel to showcase the aura of rock-hard abs, get ready to jingle your bells!”
Hallmark fans are eagerly hoping that, despite not having a typical love interest, The Woman Who Fell in Love With The Idea Of Christmas Itself leave viewers feeling “all sorts of horned up for Christmas”. Rivers goes on to explain, “Also, just because there isn’t a human love interest, there will still be special celebrity guests, namely all the Lawrence brothers featuring a very special performance by Joey Lawrence, playing “The Ghost of Christmas Whhhoa.”
The Woman Who Fell in Love With The Idea Of Christmas Itself premieres on Hallmark December 14th, and promises to include all of fans favourite Hallmark hallmarks such as: hiring an unknown actress that kind of looks like a little-known actress; lighting that is either extremely overexposed or too dark to see; actors who haven’t figured out where their mark is; directors who exclusively use establishing shots; unflattering angles; obvious Canadian landmarks; and Chad Michael Murray.