Harper returns in attempt to make Poilievre look charismatic
EDMONTON – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper appeared at a Pierre Poilievre campaign rally this week, in an attempt to make the current Conservative leader appear human and likeable by c…
Guy who says “Things could be worse” forced to retract statement
London, ON – RCMP officials have confirmed that Jamie Arbogast of Aylmer will be making a public apology this coming Tuesday at the Middlesex County Courthouse after it was deemed his multi…
Poilievre refuses to believe carbon tax is dead until a body is produced
OTTAWA – Despite Prime Minister Mark Carney announcing that his government would be axing the carbon tax, opposition leader Pierre Poilievre refuses to believe that the dreaded bill is gone…
Rogers CEO says joy of torturing Canadians with garbage hockey broadcast worth way more than 11 billion dollars
TORONTO – One week after signing a 12 year deal for NHL broadcasting rights that cost twice as much as their last deal, Rogers CEO Tony Staffieri said the deal is an investment in the compa…
Canada waiting for US economy to implode enough to make America 11th province
OTTAWA – With the stock market plunged into chaos by U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs, Canadians have decided to simply wait out America’s forthcoming economic col…
Disappointed fans slam White Lotus finale for never revealing whether rich people have problems too
TORONTO – Despite a well-received season 3 run, HBO’s hit series The White Lotus is facing backlash over failing to deliver on a central question that kept fans returning cliffhanger …
Ovechkin dedicates his record-breaking goal to the brave men and women bombing Ukrainian hospitals
NEW YORK CITY – Alexander Ovechkin has scored his 895th career goal, surpassing Wayne Gretzky’s record and making him first all-time among NHL superstars with terrible personal politics. Ovechki…
Convicted “Freedom Convoy” organizers hoping Trump will pardon them
OTTAWA – After being found guilty of criminal mischief, “Freedom Convoy” organizers Chris Barber and Tamara Lich insist they are not worried about what kind of sentence they’ll face as they’re su…
Conservative Party refuses to drop candidate for 20 years’ worth of controversial statements
OTTAWA – After four Conservative Party candidates were dropped from the running this week due to contentious social media behaviour, many have questioned why the party still refuses to drop…
Jewish students at Columbia deported for being anti-Semitic
NEW YORK – Jewish students who chained themselves to the gates of Columbia University have been arrested by ICE and deported for being anti-Semitic terrorists. As the protesting students we…
