Study reveals ratio of “Netflix” to “chilling” at all time low
TORONTO – Shattering the expectation of internet memes everywhere, new research out of the University of Toronto indicates that full incidents of Netflix and chilling combined are at histor…
Indian PM promises to dress up like a Mountie, bring a convicted FLQ terrorist the next time he visits Canada
DELHI – Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi plans on reciprocating Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s efforts at embracing culture by dressing up as a Mountie and inviting a con…
Trump announces plan to arm firefighters with fire
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bid to put an end to the longstanding epidemic of random fires breaking out across the nation, President Trump has put forward a bold plan to combat them by arming firefigh…
Republicans attack CNN for not interviewing “pro-school shooting” teens
WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers and activists are pointing to the lack of teenage supporters of school shootings on CNN as another example of liberal bias in the media. “The question we n…
Canadian women’s hockey team Olympic silver medal really let country down, says 42-year-old unemployed loser
MATTAWA, ON – Following an overtime loss in the gold medal hockey game, local man Douglas Birch became vocal on social media about the national shame brought on by Canada’s 2nd place result…
Patrick Brown kicks off campaign for Ontario PC leadership at all-ages night in Barrie bar
BARRIE – After obtaining the approval of the Ontario PC Party’s provincial nominations committee, Patrick Brown officially kicked off his campaign for the party’s leadership at an all-ages …
Act of Sportsmanship: Canada’s women curlers allow others to beat them so less popular countries could medal
PYEONGCHANG – For the first time in Canadian Olympic history, Canada’s women curlers will not be returning with a medal as the team decided to allow other countries a chance to win an Olymp…
Petition launched to remove controversial statue of Wawa’s Founding Goose
WAWA, ON – The iconic goose that overlooks the Northern Ontario town of Wawa has been a hotbed for controversy after a formal petition was launched to remove the statue which glorifies the …
Riverdale Recap: I stopped watching but here’s what I’m pretty sure is happening
As an avid reader of Archie comics, when The CW announced that they were making a film-noir, sexy teen version of the show, I was waiting with breath that was baited. As the first season came to …
Pornhub front page taken over by clips of Virtue and Moir’s gold medal routine
MONTREAL – After their technically perfect and perfectly erotic short and long dance programs led them to another ice dance gold medal, Canada’s Virtue and Moir are currently dominating the…
