To appease male fans, Doctor Who announces every Dalek will have visible penis
LONDON – After severe backlash from male fans following the casting of Jodie Whittaker as the first-ever female Doctor, the producers of Doctor Who have announced that every single Dalek in…
New HBO warning system tells viewers when they shouldn’t watch an episode with their mom
NEW YORK CITY – HBO will use the season seven premiere of Game of Throne to introduce a new rating system that will warn viewers if the episode they are about to watch should or definitely …
Extreme fitness gym uses Nazi slogan as motivational quote
CORNWALL, ON – The extreme fitness gym Shred Heads is facing struggles of its own after several of the motivational quotes stencilled on its walls turned out to be Nazi slogans. “I think it…
Justin Trudeau suffers third degree burns from failed attempt to jump over campfire
OTTAWA, ON – Canadians coast to coast had their collective gnar severely harshed today, upon learning that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau suffered third degree burns after a failed attempt t…
Evidence piling up gender neutral bathroom actually broom closet
TORONTO — Patrons of Toronto’s Tito’s Tacqueria say it’s becoming increasingly clear that the establishment’s gender neutral bathroom is actually a repurposed broom closet. “There is, like,…
Content creator really loves creating content
TORONTO – Social media ingénue, Grace Codrington, says she creates content not for fame or money, but simply because she loves doing so. “I live and breathe content creation,” Codrington sa…
Shark pressed up against aquarium glass fascinated by wonders of human life
TORONTO—Reports show that Freddie, a 2-year old tiger shark at Ripley’s Aquarium, has pressed himself up against the glass to get a closer look at the incredible spectacle of human life playing o…
The Rebelton: Muslim Attacks
Ernie Levenson really hoping for a terrorist attack to boost web traffic.…
Woman only had to go to space twice for man not to question her qualifications
OTTAWA – The soon-to-be Governor General only had to visit space twice to persuade local man Walter Alfons that she was selected for the honour based on merit. Alfons, who has questioned ne…
Guide To Ottawa
Thinking of visiting the city that keeps claiming it’s the capital of Canada?…
