Loose cannon Toronto police horse abandons surveillance team, goes after perp
TORONTO – Saying “it’s now or never,” loose cannon Toronto Police Services horse constable Freckles has abandoned his surveillance team in pursuit of a mid-level drug dealer from the Barksd…
QUIZ: Are you being catfished or are you really dating a hot Romanian prince?
Nothing is quite as exciting as making a connection with someone you really like. The flirting, the anticipation, staying up all night chatting. But internet dating can make things more complicat…
Study confirms whatever you’re doing is great, everyone else is an idiot
CAMBRIDGE, MA – A new study released today by Harvard Medical School confirms what you already suspected: the things you are doing in life are great, and everyone else is an idiot. “Your ap…
Report: the real NAFTA was in our hearts all along
Washington, DC- After months of tense negotiations between Mexico, Canada, and the US over free trade throughout the continent it has been discovered that real NAFTA has been in our hearts all al…
Universities try an unorthodox approach to free up admissions spots
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Years later man still haunted by memory of saying “Hi” to total stranger he thought was Jeff
RICHMOND, B.C. – After seven years, local man Gary Alonzo still wakes up in a cold sweat, traumatized by the memory of that time he accidentally greeted someone he thought was his friend Je…
Hawaiians report end-of-the-world sex not romantic, just frantic, terrifying
HONOLULU — Following an erroneous mobile phone alert telling Hawaiians a ballistic attack was imminent, thousands of island residents are reporting that engaging in panicked, fearful doomsd…
Touchdown celebration enters third day
PITTSBURGH, PA – The Pittsburgh Steelers have appeared to go above and beyond the expected victory march with their most recent touchdown celebration, which this afternoon surpassed the 70 …
Faith healer Trudeau tours country performing miracle of restoring his popularity
HAMILTON – Worshipers flocked to town halls across the country to watch faith healer Justin Trudeau perform the miraculous healing of his damaged reputation. “Ladies and gentlemen, I was in…
