I just really, really like smiles

By: Doug Ford You may have noticed I found myself embroiled in a bit of a scandal this weekend. No not the one where I suggested immigrants are not real Ontarians. The other one where I repeatedl…

Mike Holmes blasts 4-year-old for poorly constructed pillow fort

PETERBOROUGH, ON – Celebrity builder and television host Mike Holmes has condemned a child’s pillow fort being the worst place he has ever inspected. The eight square foot, half storey dwel…

Common law couple decides to get married after running out of matching plates

VICTORIA, BC – Despite having lived as a common law couple for the past 10 years, Ahmad Najdi and Claire Liu were compelled to begin the wedding planning process when they noticed that they…

Woman celebrates Mother’s Day by attempting to get off the phone with her mom for 45 minutes

ST. ANDREWS, NB – Giving her mother exactly what she wanted, local daughter, Jesse Wilson, 32, decided to spend Mother’s Day by attempting to get off the phone with her mother 45 minutes. “…

NASA discovers Earth-like planet 20 feet from Earth

WASHINGTON D.C. – Astronomers with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration have announced the ground-breaking discovery of a planet similar to Earth only 20 feet away from our own plane…

Narcoleptic mom gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed

Collingwood, ON- Local woman Natalie Worsh is getting breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed for Mother’s day this year, all thanks to her neurological disorder that causes her to fall asleep withou…

Local woman overcome with guilt after returning library book unread

CALGARY – Reading is known as a means of escape from the harshness of reality, but for one local woman who wishes to remain anonymous, a ticking clock turned her dream of a pleasant diversi…

Local man begrudgingly retires the word ‘awesomesauce’ from vocabulary

BURLINGTON, ON – This week, local single man Damian Chedley made the difficult decision to banish the phrase ‘awesomesauce’ from all written and verbal communication. It wasn’t an easy decision f…

Editorial: The feminist merchandise—I mean future—I want my daughter to have

By: Diane Momford As a mom and feminist, I know how important it is to set an example for my beautiful daughter, especially in these tumultuous times. That’s why I make a point of sitting down wi…

My mom is the strongest woman I know besides Gargantua The Mighty

It wasn’t until I became an adult that I appreciated my mother. Growing up, there were many times I wished she would lighten up and not be so strict with me and my siblings. But that was before I…