WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise move to many, the arts and crafts retail chain Michaels announced plans to join forces with the organization Defense Distributed in support of the US Justice Department ruling that Americans may access, discuss, use and reproduce designs for 3D-printed guns.
At a press conference this Sunday, Michaels CEO Chuck Rubin announced that the company is interested in supplying the crafty individuals who choose to print their own guns at home with all the tools and resources they may require.
“Knowing that thousands of artistically inclined people have already downloaded files to print their guns is heartening to us,” said Rubin. “We want these folks to have access to top-grade blocks of plastic, aluminium, stainless steel, and a whole assortment of alloys that our competitors simply refuse to carry.”
For those gun-making amateurs, Michaels will be packaging their own DIY boxes of component pieces for AR-15s with a booklet of instructions for quick and fun assembly.
“At Michaels, we simply provide the crafting material our artists need to create their masterpieces,” Rubin went on to explain. “Whether you’re a bored mom in need of decorative cardstock for a scrapbooking project, or a restless Second Amendment fanatic in dire need of a $1200 printer of your own, we can help you shoddily reproduce something you could have easily just purchased.”
However craftsmanship in the technological era may be a new territory to many, as last week several corrupted design files left hundreds with comical cartoon guns that roll out a banner emblazoned with “BANG!”