Pizza Pizza celebrates 50th anniversary by ordering Dominos for entire office
TORONTO – In order to celebrate serving what could be described as pizza for 50 years, Pizza Pizza bought all their employees Dominos for lunch. “Everyone is super excited to be rewarded for our …
Manitoba releases special license plates for unfriendly Manitobans
WINNIPEG – In what is being heralded as a win for cranky Canadians everywhere, the Manitoba Court of Appeal has ruled in favour of the creation of special license plates for drivers who liv…
Calgary’s only municipal ballot counter loses track, needs to start over
CALGARY – Further results of the Calgary election have been delayed after the city’s only ballot counter lost track of the numbers and was forced to start from the very first vote. Incumben…
Nation’s women running out of ways to say “YEAH OF COURSE IT’S HAPPENED TO ME!”
OTTAWA – A social media trend created in response to producer Harvey Weinstein’s assault allegations has reportedly exhausted methods for women to say “Yes all women”, “Me too”, “Obviously”…
YouTube lube reviewer takes time out of latest video to share thoughts on North Korea
THE INTERNET – In his latest video, popular “Lubetuber” LubeStar747 decided to interrupt his weekly “Wet Wednesday” review to offer his thoughts on the rising tensions between t…
Andrew Scheer tries to engage in social media by inviting everyone to play FarmVille
OTTAWA – In an attempt to connect with younger voters via social media, Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer invited all Canadians to play FarmVille. “Justin Trudeau and Jagmeet Singh may have…
The Beaverton seeks studio audience members with laughs that sound like a laugh track for live tapings
TORONTO (OK TECHNICALLY SCARBOROUGH BUT WHATEVER) – Award nominated television programme The Beaverton is in need of audience members for live tapings. The only condition? Their laughter mu…
James Corden apologizes for Weinstein jokes by pointing out he is just bad at comedy
LOS ANGELES — After telling several controversial jokes about Harvey Weinstein’s alleged sexual assaults, late night host James Corden apologized by reminding viewers “I have absolutely zer…
Popular girl you thought would peak in high school reportedly still killin’ it
CASTOR, AB – Reports early this afternoon have indicated that the popular, intelligent, and beloved girl you thought would reach her social peak in high school is still absolutely killing i…
Cool prof knows name of every student he wrecked on midterm
TORONTO – University of Toronto introductory calc professor Sean Segal is “so awesome,” his students report, that he took the time to learn the name of every student he demolished on the latest m…