QUIZ: Did you grow up watching TVOKids, YTV, or are you a well-adjusted adult that doesn’t use nostalgia as a crutch?

Ahhh Canadian children’s programming! What a concept! A cornerstone of rad 90s kids who grew up glued to the tube after school for hours on end, until their moms got home and yelled at them for l…

Zounds! Foolhardy woman to travel solo without gentleman chaperone!

TORONTO – To the extreme consternation and dismay of the right-thinkers around her, Trisha MacDonald, a girl-child of 23, announced yesterday that she has taken it upon herself to venture forth i…

‘Recognizing fascism is the first step to combating fascism’ says man doing none of the other steps

HOUSTON – “Recognizing fascism is the first step to combating fascism”, reads the latest Facebook post from local man Jeremy Sanders, who has yet to follow up with any of the other steps. “…

Contrite Acosta insists given second chance he would hide Epstein’s sex trafficking completely differently

WASHINGTON D.C. – Following this week’s indictment of wealthy serial child abuser Jeffrey Epstein, Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta responded has discussed his involvement in a controversia…

Children agree not to get abducted after 8 PM so Amber Alert doesn’t wake anyone up

TORONTO – After receiving numerous complaints about Canada’s Amber Alert system that is activated day or night, the nation’s children have agreed to restrict their abduction times between t…

Anti-abortion politician supports exceptions for rape, incest, and being his mistress

WASHINGTON D.C. — United States politician Herb Phillman has unveiled a bold new stance on the controversial issue of abortion bans by proposing exceptions in instances of rape, incest, and being…

Male stripper’s navy uniform well below Canadian Armed Forces dress standard

MONTREAL – A male stripper posing as a member of the navy was heckled by a bachelorette party for improperly wearing his uniform before it was suggestively removed to the tune of the Villag…

Report: Millennials average net worth only 8000 likes

CALGARY, AB – Surveying the livelihood and stability of adults born between 1982 and 2004, a report released today has concluded that the net worth of the average millennial is only 8000 li…

Government: Impoverished First Nations children clearly haven’t seen Canada’s #1 rating in quality of life by US News

OTTAWA – The federal government has responded to a study indicating half of all First Nations on-reserve children live in poverty by pointing out that they just haven’t seen how Canada is r…

Shoppers Drug Mart launches PC Opium Points program

BRAMPTON, ON — Shoppers Drug Marts across the country have begun rolling out promotions for their new “PC Opium Points Points” program — a groundbreaking initiative that offers redeemable points …