In anticipation of this year’s Father’s Day, Hallmark has released a set of greeting cards that finally pays homage to all the fathers who do not play golf. Whereas before the only kind of Father’s Da...
As U.S. celebrates 155 years since end of slavery, Canada celebrates 153 years of pretending we never had slavery
OTTAWA – Yesterday the U.S. commemorated Juneteenth, the day widely regarded as marking the official end of slavery in the U.S., and today Canada is preparing to celebrate our 153rd straight yea...
5 Father’s Day gifts that will almost make up for not going to law school
Father’s Day is almost here and, if you’re like me, you haven’t gotten your dad anything, let alone anything that will finally get him to forgive you for not going to law school! While nothing will ev...
Canada wins seat on UN Insecurity Council
NEW YORK – Claiming that they “will probably just fuck it up like we always do”, Canadian diplomats celebrated the country’s election to a seat on the United Nations Insecurity Council. “It’s no...
UFC Fight Island inhabitants resist allure of the Conch, establish socialist utopia
ABU DHABI – In the midst of preparation for UFC 251, officials and fighters have overcome the power of the bewitching Conch they stumbled upon, and set up a socialist system of government on Fig...
Police baffled why public turned on them after countless murders
NASHVILLE – Police officers across North America are scared and confused by the feeling that public opinion has turned against them for no reason other than the countless unpunished murders comm...
Trudeau ends arrests for CERB fraud after discovering money is being hidden in foreign tax havens
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau has ended his investigation into CERB fraud after his government discovered the money stolen is being hidden in foreign tax havens. The investigation began when the Trude...
Jagmeet Singh kicked out of House for breaking parliamentary rules against telling the truth
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh was removed from the House of Commons yesterday for violating the rule against saying true things about structural racism and MPs roles in upholding it. “The ge...
Canada directed to sit at UN kids table
NEW YORK CITY- After a long awaited period of deliberation at the United Nations table committee, Canada has once again been instructed to sit at the kids table during the UN security dinner. “This is...
Local man eats ghost pepper as excuse to finally cry around his friends
Hamilton, ON – Twenty-six year old Julian Tormeida was recently spotted on an endorphin fueled rush as he finally cried in front of his childhood friends due to the assistance of cleverly purcha...
