Canada directed to sit at UN kids table - The Beaverton

Canada directed to sit at UN kids table

NEW YORK CITY- After a long awaited period of deliberation at the United Nations table committee, Canada has once again been instructed to sit at the kids table during the UN security dinner.

“This is bullpucky!” exclaimed the nation, “this is the second time in a row we’ve had to sit at the Fisher-Price rainbow bench! We spent 2.3 million dollars on frickin’ potato salad! All that time and effort for nothing! This blows.”

The coveted invitation to spend the next two years sitting with the adults at the UN dinner was an object of the country’s grubby, syrup-stained mitts since being sat down and told they weren’t big enough to sit at the adult’s table in 2010.

“I mean they SAY they’ve got good intentions but honestly their behaviour lately hasn’t been very mature. I heard they traded a BB gun to that Saudi Arabia for some chocolate toonies. That kid’s trouble, shouldn’t little Canada know better?” spoke France.

The seats were instead given to Norway and Ireland, leaving Canada to squeeze between the crowded bench of the kids table to enjoy their tiny portions of international influence.

“I don’t know why Canada’s so upset,” said Belize, “Israel’s here, wasn’t Canada sucking up to them after they bullied Palestine? Or did they keep that on the down low…”

Once the two new countries were voted in to receive the two seats at the adult’s table, they promptly began to argue about what temperature the water was, interspersed with icy silence and the occasional unprompted US threat to stab every attendee with a steak knife.