Toronto, ON – A millennial Toronto couple who recently moved into a trendy new tiny home is enjoying their first tiny fight about a tiny affair. “My wife discovered a tiny photo on my phone…
Inside Out 3 to feature controversial new emotion, Diarrhea
Disney, United States – After the runaway success of Pixar’s sequel film Inside Out 2, the studio has announced a third film is in the works centering around their most controversial emotio…
Biden pledges to not smile the next time he gives Netanyahu one billion dollars
Washington, D.C. – US president Joe Biden has finally made clear his position in regards to the mounting war in Gaza, stating he will not smile the next time he gives Netanyahu a large sum …
All male podcast somehow passes Bechdel test
Toronto, ON – Film historians and critics are flabbergasted after a podcast recorded in Toronto by two men has somehow passed the Bechdel test, used to measure representation of women in fi…
Was 2003 The Best Year Ever? No, But You People Endlessly Crave Nostalgia Therapy
Nostalgia, Canada – By every single metric, 2003 was a pretty sub-par year but you just need to live in any other time than now, don’t you? So now we have to list a bunch of things from a t…
X employee takes extra shifts in Musk’s emerald mine to make ends meet
San Francisco, Zambia – Twitter née X programmer Terry Llyod has picked up a few night shifts in CEO Elon Musk’s emerald mine to pay off some of his rent. “It’s really my only option at thi…
Totally normal guy recommends you watch new anime, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride”
Discord, Ontario – Your totally normal co-worker has once again recommended an animated series you’ve never heard of, this time it’s one called, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride.…
Tinder guy concerned after photo of woman reveals she has physical body
Tinder, iPhone – Local Tinder user Mack Smith has reconsidered messaging a woman on Tinder after seeing concerning photos hinting that she might occupy physical space. “I saw the name ‘Vero…
Couple thrilled new remote includes shortcut buttons for streaming services Quibi, BingBong, and DankDoo
Samsung, Living Room – Deborah and Curtis expressed their excitement over the fact that the new TV remote comes with buttons that take them directly to their favourite streaming services. “…
Mariah Carey admits she also wants a Dyson Airwrap hairdryer for Christmas
LOS ANGELES – The queen of Christmas Mariah Carey has admitted after nearly 30 years of her chart-topping single “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” she finally needs more than just you. “I…